Spooky Spoof: Cinderella Skeleton by Robert San Souci

Cinderella Skeleton
Was everything a ghoul should be.
Her build was long and lank,
Her darkish hair hung down in hanks.
Her nails were yellow; her teeth were green--
The ghastliest haunt you've ever seen.
Foulest in the land was she.

Robert D. San Souci, who gave us a richly folkloric Caldecott Honor version of the Cinderella story, The Talking Eggs, has taken a frightfully delightful, tongue-in-cheek turn on the popular leitmotif in his grisly but giggle-provoking Cinderella Skeleton.

Cinderella Skeleton, of Boneyard Acres, is stuck with all the chores around the mausoleum, hanging cobwebs and tending the bats, while her evil step-mother Skreech and the two slothful step-sisters Gristlene and Bony-Jane primp themselves up for a turn at Prince Charnel's Halloween Ball. A resilient wraith, Cinderella Skeleton takes matters into her own bony hands, recruiting the services of a a good witch who decks her out for the ball, complete with special slippers and a jack o'-lantern turned into a hearse to get her there. With a warning to be home before dawn, the witch sends her off to the Halloween happening.

There, Cinderella Skeleton becomes Prince Charnel's favorite partner, but at the first glow of dawn, Cinderella remembers she must flee, and, tripping on the paving stones, leaves not just her slipper but her entire foot (still in its shoe) behind for Charnel to find. As you might guess, the Prince finally shows up at the Boneyard Acres mausoleum with the skeletal foot-in-slipper in hand. Mama Skreech, eager for one of her daughters to score a monarchical match, with a practical "wire or glue; you're good as new" snaps off a foot from each girl, but only Cinderella Skeleton's leg bone is a match. In the best fairy tale tradition, the two smitten spooks are wed and live happily ever after in a kingdom filled with unlikely love and laughter.

For older kids cloyed with dewy-eyed Disney-style Cinderellas, Robert San Souci's quirky rhyming text and David Catrow's complex, comic illustrations will keep readers in stitches--enough to make Frankenstein himself green with envy.

Cinder-Bubba: Bubba the Cowboy Prince by Helen Ketteman

It’s National Bubba Day, and do I have a bodacious Bubba book for you!

It’s Helen Ketteman’s Bubba, The Cowboy Prince: A Fractured Texas Tale, a terrific Texas take-off on the Cinderella story, complete with fairy godcow.

Bubba is a much put down and overworked cowhand at the merciless beck and call of his wicked step-daddy and his two shiftless step-brothers Dwayne and Milton. Summoned to shine up the wagon for their trip to the big hoedown that night, Bubba’s wish to go along is quashed by the fat and lazy heirs of the ranch.

Now Bubba is an enterprising young cowboy, and he aims to get himself to that shindig and dance with the beauteous Lurleen, the richest rancher in those parts. Not only is Lurleen a big-haired beauty of a Texas cowgirl, but she’s tired of working her spread solo and is known to be hankering for a prince of a fella who’s also as cute as a steer’s ear to be her cowboy consort.

Knowin’ all this and dispirited at his lot in life, Bubba rides a faithful steer off to his favorite moping place among the dogies, where he meets up with a supportive fairy godcow who promises to get him to that shindig and into the arms of Miss Lurleen. Changing his smelly cowpoke clothes and manured clodhoppers into dazzling cowboy gear, the fairy godcow turns his bovine mount into a fine cowhorse and sends him galloping off to the party, where he becomes Miss Lurleen's partner and wins her heart immediately with his good looks and good-hearted charm.

But of course, midnight comes, and Bubba’s blasted right out of his boots and back into his stinky work clothes. In disgrace he hops on his steer and rides away in despair of ever seeing the lovely Lurleen again.

But the faithful Lurleen still has his footwear and will not rest until she finds the cowboy who fills those boots, When she comes ‘round to the wicked stepdaddy’s spread, Dwayne and Milton are out of luck and Bubba rides off into the sunset with his lady love Lurleen.

For Texas-sized laughs there’s no Bubba like Bubba, The Cowboy Prince. Ketteman’s spoofy text and Warhola’s comic and telling illustrations make this one of the best of the Cinderfella genre for kids and grownups alike.