Art of the Deal: Persuading Miss Doover by Robin Pulver

To Jack, Samir is his best friend ever.

To Miss Doover, Jack and Samir together are nothing but trouble.

Jack offers to give Samir his whoopee cushion if he will sneak it into Miss Doover's desk chair. And when Mr. Humphrey, the principal comes in to announce that the field trip is canceled, the two boys titter at Jack's drawing of "Mr. Harrumphry."

Mr. Humphrey is not amused at his likeness. Miss Doover is embarrassed at the behavior of her students.

Miss Doover sank into her chair, her head in her hands.

Pfffffffffftttttttpoooot!

Jack and Samir are re-assigned seats--on opposite sides of the room.

And the next day, when Jack tries to persuade Miss Doover to give them a do-over, she has an idea.

"Class, Jack and Samir have given me an idea! For today's writer's workshop, write a four-sentence persuasive essay."

The brains of the kids are full of things to persuade their teacher to do--give them two hours of recess, a class pet, no more tests....

Samir hands his essay in quickly.

Miss Doover should not have confiscated the whoopee cushion.
Jack gave it to me.
I have a burning need to put it in my dad's chair at home.

And Samir's concluding sentence certainly nails his case:

Miss Doover doesn't even like it.

Jack's essay has only two sentences.

I'LL DIE IF I CAN'T SIT NEXT TO SAMIR.
People will be sobbing at my funeral.

Threats, bribery, and hyperbole don't work: Miss Doover is NOT persuaded. Will the two best friends get the point of this lesson at last? In Robin Pulver's latest. Persuading Miss Doover (Holiday House, 2018), Jack and Samir may be a little slow on the uptake, but young readers will laugh at the class's first lame arguments for chocolate chips instead of raisins in the cafeteria cookies and how two-hour recesses will help them have fun learning. But thanks to Miss Doover's persuasive efforts, the two partners in mischief do learn their lesson. Stephanie Roth Sisson's classroom illustrations are spot on, and readers will actually have fun with this lighthearted lesson in writing and school behavior. Share this one with Pulver's first book, Thank You, Miss Doover, in which Jack learns how NOT to write his great-aunt a thank-you note.

Great for fans of Margaret McNamara's classroom story, How Many Seeds in a Pumpkin? (Mr. Tiffin's Classroom Series). (see review here.)

Just a Bowl of Cherries? You Are What You Eat by Serge Bloch

MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAYS "YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT."

DAD SAYS "MY GOOSE WOULD BE COOKED" IF I EAT MACARONI FOR EVERY MEAL.

What are these people talking about? This kid doesn't even own a pet goose, and if he did, Mom and Dad wouldn't cook it, would they?

Ever wonder what little kids (or for that matter, non-native English speakers) make of those colorful phrases called idioms?

Serge Bloch, also the author of Butterflies in My Stomach and Other School Hazards, has another book which deals with the linguistic minefield of the idiom, this time as it relates to all things gustatory.

Our boy is one picky eater, one of that common breed who prefers a diet of foods mostly white and always bland. His food choices drive his conscientious mother "bananas," but he doesn't like those either. "Use your noodle," Mom says. "Think outside the box," Dad counsels.

When the invitation comes to have lunch at his best friend Oliver's house, his sister shares an opinion which only makes this picky eater more anxious. It sounds like macaroni is not going to be on the menu.

"I WOULDN'T EAT AT OLIVER'S FOR ALL THE TEA IN CHINA. HIS MOTHER IS A REAL HEALTH NUT!" HIS SISTER SAYS"

The idioms drop like ripe apples from the tree, as Bloch uses the cartoon device of thought balloons to depict the boy's figurative imaginings as he hears each food-themed phrase--"take with a grain of salt," "cool as a cucumber,"the apple of her eye,"a good egg," and on and on--until our hero finally arrives at Oliver's kitchen table to share--tofu dogs! Bravely, he holds out his plate for the strange-looking food.

"YOU'RE A TOUGH COOKIE!" OLIVER'S MOM SAYS.

The two boys demolish their veggie dogs, and our hero is, we assume, a changed eater, finally emboldened to "think outside the (macaroni) box."

With the illustrative thought balloons and plenty of contextual cues, our hero becomes both a more venturous diner and more savvy in the use of those savory idioms that "pepper" our language, in Bloch's latest, You Are What You Eat: and Other Mealtime Hazards (Sterling, 2010). We hope our boy has more than macaroni "on his plate," and readers have more than macaroni phrases to "spice up" their language as well after enjoying this tasty book.

A Word With You: Thirteen Words by Lemony Snicket

THE BIRD WAS DESPONDENT.

IN FACT, SO SAD THAT SHE HOPS OFF THE TABLE TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING TO CHEER HER UP.

13 Words (Harper, 2010) reads like a Freudian exercise in word associations, delivered in a stream-of-consciousness text as filtered through the brain of Daniel Handler, a.k.a. Lemony Snicket, author of the best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events, illustrated as if in an impressionistic dream state by the vivid paintings of Maira Kalman.

The product is an intensely strange and creative outing which ably illustrates not only the literal meaning, but the feelings invoked by Snicket's thirteen words: bird, despondent, cake, dog, busy, convertible, goat, hat, haberdashery, scarlet, baby, panache, and mezzo-soprano. The plot, if this quirky picture book can be said to have one, involves a royal blue bird with a royal case of the blues, progressively lightened by the presence of mood-enhancing cakes, and a witty and well-intentioned dog who distracts the moody blue bird with the sweet snack:

"THAT HIT THE SPOT!" SAYS THE DOG, "BUT NOW I THINK YOU WOULD BETTER GET BUSY."

And the bird is off for a ride in a convertible to select a hat at a haberdashery with a scarlet door run by a baby (of course!). The hats are varied--a deerstalker a la Sherlock, a scarlet fez, a Beefeater's tall fur, and a spiffy black top hat--with plenty of panache. Dog and bird are pleased with their hats, but all is forgotten when a mezzo-soprano (why not?) walks in with something tied up in a box--more cake! "HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" she inquires as if they were old friends. It's obviously time for more cake.

ALTHOUGH THE BIRD, TO TELL THE TRUTH, IS STILL A BIT DESPONDENT.

It's a combination of sly wordplay and pure Snicketry of the sort that sets grownups wondering and that most children love. Kalman's illustrations here are choice and altogether playful, combining unlikely colors such as buttery yellow and pink, and keeping the quirky story moving through this unusual word list. Although an example of the picture book genre, this one lends itself well to the sort of writing exercise teachers love in which students compose a story from a series of disparate words. For another sample of Kalman's genius, see her loving tribute to American democracy, And the Pursuit of Happiness.

In A-rrears: Chicken Cheeks by Ian Michael Black

"This is a story with a beginning, a middle, and a whole lot of ends."

With this "wazoo warning," Ian Michael Black's Chicken Cheeks (Simon & Schuster, 2009) is off and running in his short and sweetly hilarious paean to wordplay on the posterior portion of a menagerie of critters.

Bear has a ladder, but he soon ascertains that it's not up to the job of reaching a honey hive at the top of a tree. Luckily, he's obviously, er, well-grounded in his Grimm Brothers, and soon entices a series of animals in building a Bremen-Town-type tower to the top of the tree. In a series of seriously funny riffs on the rear ends of the climbers, Black stacks the animals head to hindquarters, in a can't-top-this list of slang synonyms for the anatomical tokus -- moose caboose, gnu kazoo, turkey tushy, hound dog heiny, kangaroo keister, flamingo fanny, toucan can, penguin patootie and platypus gluteus maximus, to name only a few--until the pyramid finally reaches the yearned-for yummy at the top of the tree.

But BUMmer! The hive has its own well-armed rear guard--bumblebee bums--whose sitters pack stingers which topple the tower and brings the duffers down to the ground promptly. In a sly bit of author-illustrator collusion, we see a bunch of ants, who have been shown surreptitiously waiting in the background in each illustration, feasting on the hoped-for booty of this honey hunt.

Kevin Hawkes' super silly illustrations work well with Black's tongue-in-cheek text to make this picture book a fine giggle-fest for kids who are savvy enough to savor a bit of sophisticated word play. Third graders, whose appreciation for hindquarter humor and alliterative and punny playfulness is at its peak, will be rocked off their rumps by this one!