She Did It Herself! Holy Squawkamole! by Susan Wood

Little Red Hen was hungry for guacamole.

She's got beans and cumin, masa and queso. But she doesn't want burritos. She wants guac and dipper chips!!

But she didn't have any avocados!

Down in the grove the avocados are hanging high on the tree.

"Coati, will you help me gather avocados for my guacamole?"

Coati passes, but he offers to help eat it when she's done.

So Little Red Hen picks her own avocados. Then she turns to tomatoes. And there's Snake, curled up right beside the tomato plants. Will he help harvest them for her?

Negative. Snake reports that he's all tied up. But he'll be over for the leftovers later, he adds.

Guacamole is not fit to eat without the zest of onions, so Little Red Hen heads over to the onion patch. And there's Armadillo, with paws just made for digging, but he's busy basking and not available for the asking, although he says he'll be up for noshing in the afternoon shade.

Little Red Hen heads for the herb garden. Will Iguana help select some cilantro?

Iguana says no, but says he'll give the guac a go later. So Little Red Hen heads home to her cozy cocina, where she wonders aloud who is willing to mash and mix with her. As one, all the animals reply, predictably...

"Not I!"

So Little Red Hen does it all herself. And then she adds her secret ingredient!

"HOLY GUACAMOLE! That's a lot! Who will help me eat it?" said Little Red Hen.

The feeding frenzy among the lazy snackers quickly turns into a hot time in the old town tonight, as Coati, Snake, Armadillo, and Iguana get a surprise from Little Red Hen's secret ingredient--hot peppers!

"It's a smokin' hot guacamole!" in Susan Wood's South of the Border-flavored Holy Squawkamole!: Little Red Hen Makes Guacamole (Sterling Children's Books, 2019) in a zesty re-write of the old folk tale The Little Red Hen. in which Laura Gonzalez's spicy illustrations in warm tropic colors are part of the recipe for a tasty picture book. Author Wood sprinkles some piquant Spanish words into the mix along the way, as well as Little Red Hen's recipe for guacamole and a glossary for young foodies who may hanker for some chips and dip, too.

Consumer Reports: The Three Little Pigs and the Somewhat Bad Wolf by Mark Teague

When the fickle finger of fate causes three pig siblings to lose their jobs,  the farmer, retiring to Florida, gives them severance pay and sends them out to seek their fortunes.

"LET'S BUY POTATO CHIPS," SAID THE FIRST PIG.

"LET'S BUY SODY-POP," SAID THE SECOND PIG.

"LET'S BUY BUILDING SUPPLIES," SAID THE THIRD PIG.

The third sibling, a rather prissy and practical girl pig, is obviously focused on long-term goals, while her lazy brothers just want to feed their faces.

The three pigs part company to follow their bliss.  The practical pig heads for the home improvement store and spends her money on bricks and other durable building materials and soon is busy with bricklaying and gardening chores. The other two pigs settle for the fairy tale version of shacks, building their domiciles from dirt-cheap straw and sticks.

Everybody's happy, until a somewhat bad and very hungry wolf blows into town. Denied service at Do-Nut Dan's, Hot Dog Hal's, and Pete's Pizza Parlor, Wolfie decides he'll have to find food on the hoof, er, trotter. The two lazy sods scarfing down chips and soda look like easy marks, so he does the Huff 'n' Puff thing on their down-market dwellings.  It's instant domicile devastation!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKS!" THE WOLF SAID.

But when the two pigs flee to their more provident sister's house,the now very, very hungry wolf follows to the third piggy-scented house. This one is solid and somewhat intimidating, even to a wolf of proven windiness. He decides to try their doorbell first, but when they refuse to answer, he falls back on huffing and puffing--all to no avail on this up-scale residence.

"DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL THERE?" SAID ONE PIG.

THE THEE PIGS LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND SAW THE WOLF COLLAPSED ON THE LAWN.

"LOOK AT THE POOR GUY," SAID THE LAZY PIGS.

"MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME POTATO CHIPS," SAID THE FIRST PIG. "MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME SODY POP," SAID THE SECOND PIG.

"NEVER MIND THAT STUFF," SAID THE THIRD PIG. "DINNER IS ALMOST READY."

There's more than one way to win over a wolf in Mark Teague's new fractured fairy tale version of the classic, titled The Three Little Pigs and the Somewhat Bad Wolf (Orchard Books, 2013).His tongue-in-cheek text is set off perfectly with Teague's trademark comic illustrations, with plenty of clever visual jokes for the sharp-eyed reader, including the farmer's cat, duck, and goose who are also squatters at the practical pig's house. Teague's frequent shifts in perspective keep the familiar story line moving along in this twist on the old tale in which the wolf becomes a well-fed member of the pig household, happy and no longer hungry ever after.

An "entertaining and refreshing adaptation of the classic tale," says Publishers Weekly. But if kids still haven't gotten their fill of fractured fare, add a side dish of Lane Smith's award-winning The True Story of the Three Little Pigs and Eugene Trivizas' The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig for a trio of tasty rib-sticking, rib-tickling spoofs of the classics.

Three Dojo Dudes! Three Ninja Pigs by Corey Rosen Schwartz

ONE UPON A DANGEROUS TIME
A WOLF LOVED TO HUFF AND PUFF.
HE'D GO AROUND THE TOWN.
AND BLOW HOUSES DOWN.
TILL THREE LITTLE PIGS CRIED, "ENOUGH!"

Luckily, these are three little pigs of Nippon, so instead of leaving home to seek their fortunes, they head out to the local dojo to learn some martial arts.

The first little pig chooses aikido. and masters a few militant moves, but getting bored, he moves on to build his own little thatched hut, sure that he can take on any mangy marauder. The second little pig selects a second type of martial art, jujitsu, "KIYA!," he calls, as he concludes he now knows quite enough to kayo any wolf that comes down the pike.

"BUT, PIG-SAN, YOU MUST STUDY MORE," THE MASTERS SAY.

But it's Sayonara, Sensei! as the second little pig becomes another dojo dropout, and settles down in his comfy little stick-built house.

The third little pig is more perseverant. She stays in karate school until she becomes herself a master of all the moves.

BY THE TIME SHE WAS THROUGH,
SHE COULD BREAK BOARDS IN TWO
BY PERFORMING A PERFECT PORK CHOP!

Confident in her karate skills, she builds herself a sturdy brick hog home and settles down. But before she can even invite her brothers over for a cup of swill, the Wolf decides it's time to pester pigs again.

The first two pigs face him bravely, but find that they are somewhat lacking!

YO, BACON!" HE HOLLERS.

The imperfectly prepped pigs are soon., shall we say, "blown away" by the Wolf.

"PIGGONE! I WISH I HAD BEEN MORE PREPARED!"

And in the best tradition of this familiar story, it's all up to the third little pig, who quickly teaches the Big Bad Wolf not to mess with a pig in a gi!

Corey Schwartz' fractured fairy tale, The Three Ninja Pigs (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 2012) is an unique re-telling of this traditional oft-told tale with an original setting, done up in limerick verses that kids will love. Inventive artist Dan Santat contributes another set of his unique cartoon-styled illustrations that keep the plot moving along until the ninja pig knocks off that pesky predator and provides him with a well-deserved comeuppance.

THREE PIGS FOLLOW THEIR OWN MOJO,
THEY RAN THEIR OWN DOJO...

And presumably live happily ever after.