Through the Woods to Bubbe's Cottage: Little Red Ruthie--A Hanukkah Tale by Gloria Koster

Little Ruthie is merry. It's cold and snowy outside, but wearing her poofy red parka with its cozy hood, she sets out through the woods to her Bubbe's house, thinking warm thoughts and carrying a basket with sour cream and applesauce for the special latkes she and her grandmother always make during Hanukkah.

All is merry and bright as Little Red Ruthie skips through the forest until, as it starts snowing heavily, she makes a wrong turn on the path.

RUTHIE FINDS HERSELF FACE TO FACE WITH A WOLF!

"LITTLE GIRL, I'M GOING TO EAT YOU UP!" SAID THE WOLF.

BUT IT WAS HANUKKAH. RUTHIE WANTED TO BE AS BRAVE AS THE MACCABEES!

Ruthie knows she must also be clever, so she opens her coat and shows the wolf how skinny she is, but promises that after she eats lots of latkes for the next eight days, she'll make a much bigger meal.

"I'LL BE AS ROUND AS A PANCAKE THEN!"

The wolf agrees to the deal, but stealthily takes a shortcut to Bubbe's cottage. On the door there is a message from Bubbe' for Ruthie, saying she is shopping for a Hanukkah treat and will be back shortly. The wolf tries to door and, finding it unlocked, goes inside to wait for both of them to return, amusing himself while he waits by trying on Bubbe's best dresses. But Ruthie arrives before Bubbe and has to be both brave and clever. She offers to make the wolf some fine latkes as hors d'oeuvres before the feast. The wolf says he's too hungry to wait for her to fry the latkes in oil.

"SKIP THE FRYING!" HE GROWLS.

But Ruthie insists on telling the story about why the oil is the most important part of Hanukkah, and the ravenous wolf eats latkes as fast as little Ruthie can fry them up. In fact, by the time Bubbe returns, the wolf is no longer hungry at all.

In fact, he's feeling quite BARFY!

Notice: No little girls or innocent grandmothers are harmed in Gloria Koster's jolly holiday parody of the Little Red Riding Hood tale, Little Red Ruthie: A Hanukkah Tale (Albert Whitman).

This lighthearted spoof of the popular Red Riding Hood trope lends itself well to the story of Hanukkah and the reason latkes are the festive food for this holiday. Jolly illustrations by Sue Eastland extend the droll text with great good humor in which even the wolf is funny. For sophisticated primary students who know their December celebrations, share this one with Eric Kimmel's and Trina Schart Hyman's Caldecott-winning Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins: 25th Anniversary Edition. And for more tasty Hanukkah stories for the season, here's a virtual platter from which you can help yourself to all you want here.

Old Mother Moose Tales! Rapunzel and the Seven Dwarfs: A Maynard Moose Tale by Willy Clafin

Far away in the Northern Piney Woods there lives a storyteller named Maynard Moose. Every full moon, the animals came from far and near to hear him telling the old Mother Moose Tales~~~

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago...
... there was a girl with long, long goldie hair. Her hair was so long that it dragged out along the ground and became distremely filthified -- all full of twigs and wudgies of glop (things that you do not want to look at, much less have in your hair.)"

Rapunzel (nicknamed Ponzie), distressed by the detritus accumulating in her locks, consulted a Witch, who, unable to conjure a spell to de-tangle her hair, consigned her to a very tall tower, where her tanglified mane did not manage to reach the ground and could therefore be combed clean. However, damsels in towers being attractive to roaming princes of the knightly persuasion, one happened upon her and attempted to climb up her hair to the tower in hopes of making a gallant-ish rescue. But because of his lamentable chubbification, he proceeded to pull her out the window, where she flipped into a serendipitously adjacent lake.

Perchance, before Ponzie was totally drowdified, along came the Seven Dwarfs Plus 2--Hyper and Ambidextrous--back from the mines, who revived Ponzie and took her to their dwarfy hovel in the forest to hide from the now distremely angrified Witch.

Disgustified by Ponzie's tangled and nastified locks, the eight or nine Seven Dwarfs shaved her head, and the next morning locked her inside their hovel and, with a warning not to fall prey to any disguised witch selling things, the dwarfs went off to work, Hi Ho, Hi Ho-ing loud enough for any witch in the woods to hear them and zero in upon their rustic hovel.

So, of course, Ponzie opened the door when the Witch came along selling watermelon slices and choked on her very first over-zealous bite. In the course of events, when the eight or nine Seven Dwarfs returned, they found her completely unconshable. Not ones to miss a lucrative opportunity, the dwarfs put Ponzie in a glass box and sold tickets to all the forest amunals to see her. It certainly was a better gig than digging in the mines, until perforce the chubbified prince appeared, astride a handsome White Moose, who crashed his hooves through the glass box and kissed Ponzie, after which she climbed up on his back and rode away, hopefully with (partially) regrown hair and presumably to live happy never afterwards.

This cobbled-together tangle of traditional tales set within the frame story of the bard of the Northern Piney Forest Maynard Moose, Rapunzel and the Seven Dwarfs: A Maynard Moose Tale (August Mouse Little Folk) will delight savvy primary and middle readers who delight in the genre of a bona fide fractured fairy tale, a mashup of Rapunzel and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, with its own glossary of Moosified vocabulary, found, as all educated kids know, in the back of the book, as Maynard's Glossary and Hoofnotes.

Other fractured fairy tales co-opted by Maynard Moose are The Uglified Ducky (Maynard Moose Tales) and The Bully Goat Grim: A Maynard Moose Tale (Maynard Moose Tales). For more fractured fairy tales for all ages, read my reviews here.

Re-Writing Little Red: I Am So Clever by Mario Ramos

It's a sunny day in the forest. A hungry wolf is lurking behind a tree, feeling a bit peckish, when he spots a petite child dressed all in red, tripping along with a basket.

"Hello, my dear! How fine you look!"

"Thank you for the compliment, Mr. Wolf!" she replied cheerfully.

Mr. Wolf is already salivating and formulating his dining plans for the day. He only needs to delay Little Red Riding Hood briefly....

"I am so clever! I'll be having a feast today.

Grandmother for the main course, and this little raspberry for dessert!" he gloated to himself.

But Little Red fails to fall for his faux warning about ravenous sharks in the woods.

"Oh, come on! Everyone knows there are no sharks in the woods."

But Little Red seems persuaded that her Granny would love it if she picked a bouquet of posies for her, so leaving her choosing some blooms, Mr. Wolf streaks through the trees to Granny's cottage, prepared to gobble her down without a personal introduction. But Granny is not in residence, so Mr. Wolf invites himself in. The first thing he sees is Granny's ruffled pink nightgown spread out on her bed, and in glee Mr. Wolf makes a quick change in his meal plans.

"Aha! An even better idea! The little cherry for the first course...

... the grandmother for dessert!"

All Mr. Wolf has to do is squeeze into Granny's gown and hop in bed to ambush the little appetizer. But first, the wolf, encased like a sausage in the pink nightie, decides to hustle outside to conceal his paw prints on the path.

It's meal time and the perfect crime--a two-for-one special!

But outside there's a virtual parade of passersby going down the path, and Mr. Wolf has no choice but to impersonate Granny for the hunter who's dropped his glasses, three little pigs playing chase, seven dwarfs hi-ho-ing their way down the path for a summer swim, and the gallant Marquis Montresor, who reigns in his stallion to ask directions to the castle where he plans to wake a sleeping princess. At last Mr. Wolf spots Little Red approaching with a fistful of daisies. Ah-ha! Time for a bite of brunch!

But, hoist by his own petard, Mr. Wolf's feet gets tangled in his ruffled disguise and he falls flat as he lunges for Little Red. THUD!

"I've bwoken all my teeff! And I'm twapped in diff terrible dweff!"

It looks like Mr. Wolf will NOT be snacking on the catch of the day after all, in Mario Ramos' parody of Little Red Riding Hood, his just published I Am So Clever (Gecko Press, 2019). Artist Ramos' perky protagonist gets the best of the would-be wolfish predator (who may be begging some pureed porridge for dinner from the Three Bears) in a clever comic comeuppance in this funny fractured folk tale of just desserts. Says Booklist's starred review, "a delightful and fresh retelling, a worthy addition to the fractured fairy tale canon."

Pedal to the Metal! The Princess and the Pit Stop by Tom Angleberger

Where would you expect to find a princess?

In a palace? Waltzing with a prince? Sleeping on a pea?

Not this princess! She's handed her crown to her principal lady-in-waiting/pit crew chief to hold, and she's behind the wheel and out on the race course.

Once upon a time there was a princess who made a pit stop. While the birds and beasts changed her tires, her Fairy Godmother told her she was in last place!

She might as well give up!

Will she return to her tower for a good cry? Will she command an official Re-Start? Not this royal. She's nobody's Did Not Finish Princess.

She floors the accelerator and puts the pedal to the metal.

She cruises past the Kings' Men, passes Peter Rabbit, gives the air to the Three Bears, spins past Rumpelstiltskin... and ...

... she beats Jack and Jill down the hill, blows the doors off Mr. Big Bad Wolf, and leaves Little Jack Horner in the corner.

Even the Gingerbread Man concedes that maybe she can catch him.

This princess powers her way past the checkered flag, accepts her trophy and smiles through the obligatory power poses as the cameras flash. She even tapes a quick commercial. And then... it's on to the ball for some Happy Ever After, in Tom Angleberger's just published The Princess and the Pit Stop (Abrams Books, 2018). With a princess who leaves all of Fairy Tale Land in the dust, cruising by cameos of famed Nursery Rhyme characters, done up by the turbo-powered art of Caldecott winner Dan Santat, this comic-book-cum-fractured-fairy-tale is bound to take the lead at in the read-aloud winner's circle. Says School Library Journal, "A high octane storytime selection!"

Red Riding Hood, Reconceptualized! Little Red Riding [SHEEP] by Linda Raven Lodding

Every production needs a caped creative consultant, right? That's Arnold's story, and he's sticking to it.

He tries out for the role of Little Red Riding Hood, but despite some "scooching down," the director is not convinced he's right for the part.

"You're not a girl. You're a sheep, Arnold!" he points out.

"Heidschucke sheep, to be exact," says Arnold.

"But the main character in this book is NOT a sheep," insists the director.

That's what all the authors say, Arnold thinks. Sheep are usually relegated to the background, munching. Bo-ring!

Arnold calls for a few daringly edgy changes in the setting. Those deep dark woods could be sunnier with just a few strategic erasures, he suggests. Then he offers his friend, a muskrat named Einar, who would be an inspired choice as the Big Bad Wolf. And his friend Frankie Warthog is perfect for the role of the Grandmother.

"She's won a Granny Award," Arnold offers.

But then Einar points out that as a dedicated vegan, his personal values won't allow him to gobble grandmothers.

"I get GOBBLED?" cries Frankie, suddenly fearful.

CUT! There's such a thing as too much creative license, in Linda Rave Lodding's take off on reconceptualizing the classics, in Little Red Riding Sheep (Atheneum Books, 2017), and even Arnold confesses that it's his b-a-a-a-ad. Some tales just don't benefit from too much freewheeling.

Sometimes it pays to get your actors from central casting after all. Artist Cale Atkinson's comic illustrations of the fleecy Arnold caped as Little Red, the muskrat Einar as the big, bad wolf, and a tusky warthog as Red's granny, make this fractured fairy tale fun for primary readers who know the original all too well. And it's definitely not boring. Says Booklist, "A fun, meta, fractured fairy tale.”

Where's A Woodman When You Need Him?" Very Little Red Riding Hood by Teresa Heapy and Sue Heap

Wolf thinks he's got the little girl with basket gig all figured out. He smiles, bows, checks out the contents of the basket for potential appetizer appeal, distracts the kid with some posies, and makes sure he gets into Grandmother's house for the main course.

But Wolf is not quite up to speed on toddlers in red capes. He approaches a small red-clad figure heading into the woods.

"A FOXIE!!" SQUEALED VERY LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.

"AREN'T YOU SCARED?" ASKED THE WOLF.

NOT SCARED! NO TOUCH MY CAKES!"

O-kay. Not exactly as expected, but... close. Wolf moves down the checklist with the offer to pick some lovely yellow daisies for Grandmama.

Very Little Red Riding Hood stamps her little feet.

"NOOOOO! NOT LELLO!!

RED!"

Whatever, figures Wolf, picking a passel of poppies. Now to get into the cottage and he's in business! When Grandmama opens the door, she cries WOLF! But Very Little Red invites him right in for a tea party.

"OH, GRAMMA, IT ONLY FOXIE!" SHE EXPLAINS.

Three rounds of tea, a spot of tea dancing, what seems like hours of drawing and coloring, and one lo-o-o-n-g game of hide-and-seek later, Wolf figures it's time to get this folk tale back on track. Very Little Red insists that she's here for a sleepover. But sleeping reminds her of something serious.

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE IS MY MUMMY!" SHE SUDDENLY WAILS.

A full-fledged toddler tantrum is not on Wolf's to-do list, but he gamely tries recycling some vaguely familiar lines.

"OH, WHAT A BIG SNOTTY NOSE! YOU HAVE," HE COOS (not without a touch of sarcasm.)

There's very little happy-ever-after for this fake Foxie in Teresa Heapy and Sue Heap's crack-'em-up fractured fairy tale, Very Little Red Riding Hood (The Very Little Series) (Houghton Mifflin Clarion, 2014), in which one gets the impression that Foxie, er, Wolf, is hereinafter going to limit his scams to little boys named Peter. Sue Heap's exuberant illustrations propel each page turn, and Teresa Heapy's narration is pure spoofy storytelling goodness. All the stars across the review firmament came out for this one. As the Bulletin for Children's Literature raves, "Heapy captures exactly the sort of afternoon very little storytime listeners long for.... Audiences will love seeing how a mere toddler can make even a mighty wolf feel sheepish."

Jack's Back! A Bean, A Stalk, and A Boy Named Jack by William Joyce

Once upon a time, there was trouble, right here in Royal City. Not famine or fire or feuding, exactly, but still big trouble.

THE KING'S ROYAL PINKY
HAD BECOME STINKY!

The rains hadn't come in quite a while, and well, frankly, the King was as stinky as the rest of the unwashed peasants in the kingdom..

At first he sent for noblemen and women and ordered them to weep and wail until he collected enough tears for a bit of a wash! But there's a limit to tears, even under duress! And besides, the Princess is totally embarrassed by the whole thing.

People begged the Royal Wizard to do something!

"PUL-LEEZE!"

And...

THERE WAS A SMALLISH GREEN BEAN, AS REGULAR AS THEY COME.

And...

THERE WAS ALSO A SMALLISH KID

WITH THE SMALLISH NAME OF JACK

AND A SMALLISH COW. NO GREAT SHAKES.

Everyone knows what happens when a smallish boy gets his hands on a smallish bean, and this Jack soon has an enormous beanstalk. There's nothing left to do but climb it, and so he does.

At the top he follows some impressive plumbing until he comes to a room and sees a giant bathtub full of giant bubbles, and lolling in the suds, he sees ...

A SMALLISH GIANT KID NAMED DON.

Jack thinks it's time to make a deal.

"SO, DON--"

"YES, JACK?"

"BEEN IN THE TUB LONG?"

"A LONG TIME. MY PINKY WAS STINKY."

Jack thinks he's found the reason that the rains haven't fallen on the kingdom. He and Don's mom agree that it's past time to pull the plug on bath boy.

It's down the drain with Don's bathwater and Jack, as the water cascades down the beanstalk, and soon the kingdom has plenty. The king's pinky is no longer stinky, and Jack and Princess Blah ("You can call me Jill!") find they share a mutual fondness for water pails.

Everyone lives happy (or at least clean) ever after, sorta, in William Joyce's fractured take on the venerable Jack tale, A Bean, a Stalk and a Boy Named Jack (Monobot/Atheneum Books, 2014). Nobody gets eaten or even chased down a beanstalk here, but with tongue in cheek, Joyce's narration, assisted well by the quirky and clever cartoon illustrations of Kerry Callicutt, pokes gentle fun at the familiar fairy tale which will tickle some giggles out of folktale-savvy young readers. Says Kirkus, "Joyce and Callicutt royally fracture the familiar folk tale in this high-concept romp."

Pair this one with Tomie dePaola's rewrite of the Jack tale, in his brand-new picture book, Jack

Pachyderm Princess: Cinderelephant by Emma Dodd

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A GIRL NAMED CINDERELEPHANT.

CINDERELEPHANT LIVED WITH HER TWO COUSINS, WHO WERE KNOWN AS THE WARTY SISTERS. THEY WERE HORRIBLE, MEAN, AND SMELLY.

Despite her imposing size, Cinderelephant is forced to serve as her cousins' handmaiden.  To meet their specifications, she is forced to multitask as only an elephant can, mopping with one hand, cooking with the other, and deftly managing to do the ironing with her trunk, slaving thanklessly while the warthog girls lollygag and mindlessly loaf away the entire day.

But then an invitation arrives that focuses their minds wonderfully.  Heir to the throne Prince Trunky, who finds his kingdom's eligible ladies a bit on the delicate side as dancing partners, is hosting a grand ball, with the clear objective of picking a presumably sturdy consort.  Princess is the operant word of the hour, and despite their lack of pulchritude, the Warty girls proceed to primp up, hoping to trip the light fantastic with the Prince.

Cinderelephant is excited at the princessy prospects, too.

"IF THEY ARE INVITED ALL THE GIRLS," SAID CINDERELEPHANT, "PERHAPS THAT INCLUDES ME!"

"OF COURSE YOU WON'T BE GOING, CINDER-IRRELEVANT!"  LAUGHED THE WARTY SISTERS.

But Cinderelephant has a resource her cousins know not of--her Furry Godmouse,  who magically transforms her dull house dress and everyday shoes into glamorous gown and sparkly pumps and conjures up an appropriately commodious stretch limo as transport to the ball.  Giddy, Cinderelephant, all dolled up for the dance, eagerly hoists her considerable posterior into the plush backseat of her ride.

"BUT, (AND IT WAS A BIG BUT," THE FAIRY GODMOUSE SAID (PUNNINGLY), "YOU MUST BE BACK BY MIDNIGHT."

It's a pleasantly predictable ending to Emma Dodd's latest, Cinderelephant (Arthur A. Levine Books, 2013), as the hefty Trunky and his plus-sized princess are at last reunited over  her missing pink pump in traditional style, and as Dodd puts it, "hugely happy ever after." The Cinderella motif is one of the most popular in literature, with its universal themes of orphanhood, sibling rivalry, romance, and the get-rich-quick drive. Author-illustrator Emma Dodd spoofs the bare bones of the old folktale, generously, er, fleshing them out visually while sticking close to the familiar plot, and her artwork, just a bit reminiscent of Babar and Queen Celeste, is as comically captivating as ever in this venture into the fractured fairy tale genre.

School Days: The Gingerbread Man Loose in the School by Laura Murray

"I BEGAN IN A BOWL."

Lovingly but with lots of giggles, a class stirs up a batch of ginger cookie dough, rolls it out, and artistically decorates their gingerbread man. But just as he's being taken out of the oven, the bell rings for recess. The kids bustle outside, leaving the cooling gingerbread man hot to trot.

"I'M THE GINGERBREAD MAN AND I'M TRYING TO FIND

 THE CHILDREN WHO MADE ME AND LEFT ME BEHIND."

But  a couple of minutes behind, the poor cookie man has to hustle. He gets flattened by a loose soccer ball from the gym,
Coach retrieves it from the hall:

"GOOD GRIEF! IT'S A COOKIE!

OH, NO! HERE'S A TOE!"

Coach escorts the Gingerbread Man to the school nurse's office, where a bit of goofy glue repairs his foot--sort of.

"I LIMP AND I'LL LIMP AS FAST AS I CAN...."

Now more than a couple of more minutes behind his class, the Gingerbread Man gamely continues, taking a short cut by sliding down a banister. Airborne, he lands in the art teacher's lunch sack on top of a sandwich. Good humoredly, she takes her drop-in friend to the office.

Just as Principle Peacock is considering what administrative action to take, a group of kids come by, putting up signs with his picture and with a welcome message:

MISSING!

ROOM 23

PLEASE RETURN!

HE'S OUR GINGERBREAD MAN.

It's time for one tough cookie to return to his classroom and his class, where his kids get busy building him a gingerbread house, in Laura Murray's latest, The Gingerbread Man Loose in the School (G. P. Putnam's Sons, 2013). If you started school anytime in the past forty or fifty years, you probably have fond memories of your hunt for the runaway Gingerbread Man, a clever scheme of Kindergarten teachers to take kids on a tutorial tour of the layout and personnel of the elementary school, and this tall tale is a good way to introduce a preschool or Kindergarten class to this important rite of passage.

Other sweet schooltime treats include Murray's community helpers account, The Gingerbread Man Loose on the Fire Truck and Joan Holub's The Gingerbread Kid Goes to School (Penguin Young Readers, L2).

Don't Mess with MAMA! Mo Willems Presents... That Is Not A Good Idea by Mo Willems

"WHAT LUCK! DINNER!"

A dapper fox, obviously on the prowl, practically twirls his mustache and licks his chops as he spies a tempting and tasty entre, a guileless-looking, blue-babuska-wearing goose, clutching her wicker shopping basket.

He gallantly invites her for stroll and she demurely accepts.  The melodrama ratchets up incrementally, as she in turn accepts the suggestion for a walk in the woods and a visit to the foxy gentleman's kitchen, where he engagingly begins to prepare their lunch, a savory soup in an alarmingly large stock pot.

So ... you think you know where this one is going?

Well, not with the wickedly wry Mo Willems as the director of this little one-reeler thriller.

Casting his little melodrama in the format of a silent film short subject, Mo Willems provides medium shots of the Fox and his quarry with closeups of the unsuspecting stooge goose coyly concurring, alternating with gray-toned title frames in which six little goslings act as a Greek chorus, with appropriately fateful prophecies.

"THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA!"

The warning subtitles become increasingly dire, with considerable overacting by the juveniles, as Fox's nefarious plot thickens, until at last he invites Goose to come closer to the simmering pot to taste for that elusive missing ingredient!

"THAT IS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY NOT A GOOD IDEA!"

But the seemingly hapless hen turns the tables on this well-turned-out scoundrel in a climactic tour de force that has the reader suddenly realizing whom+ those warnings were really for, in Mo Willems' latest, That Is Not a Good Idea! (Balzer & Bray, 2013). Willems ends this little tale of peril with a final frame showing the goose and her chicks enjoying a savory soup with, um, just the right missing ingredient. Willems puts the silent film format to perfect use here, with each page a frame of a hand-cranked short subject, with a conclusion that would have his foxy villain (were he not otherwise engaged in, er, seasoning the soup) crying "Curses! Foiled again!"

Roll credits!

How Willems manages to continue to top himself with each flawless picture book would confound even the Keystone Kops. With a few well-chosen facial expression lines and telling body language, peerless page pacing, and a wry wit that wins over all ages, this winner of multiple Caldecotts and Theodor Seuss Geisel Awards shows yet again that he is indeed the master of picture-book craft.

As Publishers Weekly puts it cunningly and punningly, "a wickedly droll poultry-in-peril yarn."

Just Right Bite: Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs by Mo Willems

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WERE THREE DINOSAURS, PAPA DINOSAUR, MAMA DINOSAUR AND SOME OTHER DINOSAUR THAT HAPPENED TO BE VISITING FROM NORWAY.

"OH, BOY!" SAID PAPA DINOSAUR. "IT'S FINALLY TIME TO LEAVE AND GO TO... THE... UH, SOMEPLACE ELSE."

"YES," SAID MAMA DINOSAUR. "I SURE HOPE NO INNOCENT LITTLE SUCCULENT CHILD HAPPENS BY OUR UNLOCKED HOME WHILE WE ARE... UHH... SOMEPLACE ELSE."

What's more fun than three big bowls of chocolate pudding? Try Mo Willems' new spoof of the familiar old cautionary tale of Goldilocks. Not since the great James Marshall put his pen to work parodying this old story has there been a Goldie like this one.

Mo Willems' "poorly supervised" little blonde heroine (who looks suspiciously like Trixie of Knuffle Bunny fame) comes conveniently traipsing through the trees while the three dinos, er, "stroll" in the woods and wait for their chocolate pudding treat-trap to be tripped. A ladder is even left conveniently in the kitchen to help their tender little victim climb up to the counter where one bowl is cooling, one bowl is, er, warming, and one bowl is, well, maintaining ambient room temperature, we presume, in the best tradition of the laws of thermodynamics. Goldie follows the script and soon becomes a "chocolate pudding-stuffed girl bonbon" just as the tricky trio has planned.

If the welcome mat which proclaims "WIPE YOUR TALONS" doesn't give away the species of these hospitable homeowners, the size of their beds does awaken Goldie's suspicions.

"THE BEARS WHO LIVE AROUND HERE MUST BE NUTS!

HEY," SHE TOLD HERSELF, "THIS ISN'T SOME BEARS' HOUSE. THIS IS SOME DINOSAURS' HOUSE."

Mo Willem's delightful takeoff takes this oft-told old tale out for a rib-tickling stroll in the forest in his latest, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs: As Retold by Mo Willems (Balzer & Bray, 2012). Kids who know this familiar old story will delight in the device of putting those sly and devious dinos in the role of the usual clueless bears and relish the fun of this quirky version. And who could argue with the wisdom of Willem's closing aphorism--words to live by:

IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN THE WRONG STORY, LEAVE!

". . . a sense of irony (and humor) as sharp as this dinosaur trio’s talons," says Publishers Weekly.

Princess Pen-Pals: Dear Cinderella by Marian Moore and Mary Jane Kensington

Dear Cinderella,

I am so happy we are going to be pen pals. I live in a great big castle with my mean step-mother. Even though I am a princess, she make me work all the time.

I wish I lived in some faraway place where dreams come true.

SIGH. It's not easy being a fairy tale princess. Snow and Cindy have their mean step-mothers in common, and as their letters fly back and forth, the two soon become BFFs. Both counsel the other to keep a positive outlook, smile through their tears, and keep singing as they do their step-mothers' dirty work.

"Singing and dancing when you are scrubbing, washing, and cleaning make the chores seem like fun,” writes Cinderella helpfully.

“I have been singing and dancing ever since I read your letter,” Snow White gushes.

If this were a movie musical, Cindy and Snow would launch into a split-screen duet dance version of "Someday My Prince Will Come" at this point, with chirping bluebirds fluttering all 'round.

The two would-be princess brides share their dreams of a Prince Charming who will take them away from all of these chores, and confide their fears that their step-mothers have more nefarious events than merely scrubbing and sweeping planned for them. When the unwary Snow White confides in a missive that she is so looking forward to a day far away from her tasks, picnicking in the forest with the jovial huntsman, readers will, of course, know what's up, and when later at the Seven Dwarfs' cottage an old apple seller comes to the door, the fairy tale cognoscenti will be crying "No, Snow! Don't eat that apple!!" Likewise, when Cindy gets left behind, still toiling on her homemade gown on the night of the ball, savvy readers will know that she'll soon be dancing the light fantastic in her glass slippers with a certain prince.

Although some reviewers have tagged this fluffy princess tale as "vapid," it can just as easily be read as a tongue-in-cheek spoof of the whole Disneyesque take on the classics. Older (third, fourth, or fifth graders, say) who may have read the original grim Grimm tales, will chuckle at this bubbly parody, and younger readers will enjoy being in the know when famous elements of the plot are foreshadowed in the girls' perky epistles.

Taken as an intermediate step between the literary license of Disney films and the grim realities of cut-off toes and carved-out hearts of the original tales, this story has its niche. Considered as part of the growing "fractured fairy tale genre," Marian Moore and MaryJane Kensington's light-hearted new Dear Cinderella (Orchard Books, 2012) can be good fun for fans of the two venerable fairy tale princesses who keep smiling on the way to their happy-ever-after.

For a preview look, the book's trailer is here.

Spoofing the Grimms: Ponyella by Laura Numeroff and Nate Evans

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL HORSE NAMED PONYELLA.

HER COAT WAS AS WHITE AS MARSHMALLOWS AND HER MANE WAS LONG AND SILKY.

Ponyella is beautiful and beloved by her owners, but when the farm is sold, alas, she falls on hard times. No more the pampered favorite, Ponyella is relegated to a tiny, smelly stall by the new proprietors' darlings, Plumpkin and Bun Bun, and our heroine is demoted to lowly cart-horse chores, pulling the coal wagon around the farm, a job which colors her glorious hide in a sooty gray.

Of course, groomed and with their hooves professionally polished, Plumpkin and Bun Bun strut their stuff when Princess Penelope pays a state visit to the farm, knowing that Her Highness will be picking the Champion of the Tippington Grand Royal Pony Show.

"WHEN IS THE SHOW?" ASKED PONYELLA EXCITEDLY.

"WHAT DOES IT MATTER? YOU'RE NOT GOING!" SAID BUN BUN.

Ah, but the wicked Plumpkin and Bun Bun have reckoned without the Fairy Godmare, who takes pity on poor Ponyella, and with a few professional POOFS and seemingly simple swishes of her magical tail, transforms an old farm trailer and the barn mouse Sam into a lovely carriage and performs a few improvements in Ponyella's personal hygiene as well:

"CHEESE LOUISE!" SAID SAM.

"HOME BY THE STROKE OF NOON!" COMMANDS THE FAIRY GODMARE.

Of course, we know where this one is going. Ponyella, poshly turned out as Fifi Frou Frou from Paris, pleases Princess Priscilla perfectly, but after giving her a thrilling ride, has to dash as the clock strikes noon, leaving behind one of her diamond horseshoes. But the princess knows a perfect pony when she sees one, and after an bit of the pro forma unpleasantness with Plumpkin and Bun Bun back at the farm, Ponyella's shoe fits and she is happy to wear it, going off with Princess Priscilla for a fabulous "bridle party," happy ever after, leaving the coal-cart haulage and drayage duties to the repentant Plumpkin and Bun Bun.

In Laura Numeroff's and Nick Evans' Ponyella (Hyperion, 2011), it's a perfect pairing of a pony and a princess, in a perky parody of a favorite fairy tale which will give even the most-Disney-princess-stricken reader more than a few giggles of recognition. Lynn Munsinger, illustrator of the award-winning Hooway for Wodney Wat and the Tacky the Penguin tales, pinks it up in the best princess tradition here, all the while tossing in some spoofy touches of her own in her accompanying artwork. As Publishers Weekly puts it, "A sweet, playful adaptation that's just right for the My Little Pony crowd."

Dogged Devotion: Princess Zelda and the Frog by Carol Gardner

"WHAT WILL YOU GIVE ME, SILKY PANTS," CROAKED THE UGLY FROG, "IF I GET YOUR GOLDEN BALL?"

"I'LL GIVE YOU MY CROWN, MY DIAMOND CHOKER, AND A GIFT CARD FOR A MASSAGE," SAID PRINCESS ZELDA.

"NO, THANKS, SWEET CAKES," HE SAID. "IF YOU WILL LET ME EAT FROM YOUR GOLDEN BOWL, DRINK FROM YOUR GOLDEN GOBLET, SLEEP ON YOUR GOLDEN PILLOW, AND PROMISE TO BE MY BFF, I WILL GET YOUR BALL."

In Carol Gardner's and Shane Young's just-published Princess Zelda and the Frog (Feiwel & Friends, 2011), the frog drives a hard bargain with his princess just as in the classic fairy tale, The Frog Prince. But in this breezy modernized version, the beautiful and delicate princess role is played by Zelda, in all her bulbous bulldog beauty, gussied up in perfect pink princess style in silk gown and lavender tiara, while her rescuer/BFF wannabe, the Frog in the well, is played by an equally photogenic bulldog, attired in what is obviously a green velveteen costume which leaves his mutt's mug exposed beneath the froggy hood.

In cleverly staged photos, Shane Young has his super-model bulldogs replicate the classic story fairly faithfully, while Carol Gardner's witty modern text ("See you later, Sweetums," croaks the Frog after slurping up the banquet's fine dishes from Zelda's golden bowl) gives this retelling the delicious flavor of full-blown parody.

The Frog is persistent in enforcing Princess Zelda's promise, and that night, when he gains entrance to Zelda's bedchamber, he settles down to snore rather grossly, and Zelda, already an insomniac, fears that she will never sleep again in close quarters with such a bedfellow.

But after all, this is a fairy tale.

A FEELING OF PEACE WASHED OVER HER.

AND BEFORE LONG THE THE PRINCESS WAS LULLED INTO A DEEP SLEEP HERSELF.

"A promise is a promise"--even for petulant princesses--is the evergreen theme of this humorous reprise of the old tale, and in true virtue-rewarded form, Frog is restored to his true nature by the keeping of the promise to be the princess' best friend. And--you guessed it--by morning's light he is transformed into, well, as handsome a prince as a boy bulldog can be, complete with his own crown and silken threads in a happy, BFFs-forever ending in the best fairy tale tradition.

Photographer-designer Young stages the book's illustrations in a charming grade-school play format, with poster-painted-style backdrops and cut-out clouds hanging down on wires in the outdoor scenes, while posing his patient pooches in all sorts of hilarious vignettes in their improbable costumes. It's a rollicking romp through the Brothers Grimm's tale that is sure to tickle the giggles of the picture book crowd, especially those who have already met the traditional tale. And for those who prefer their fairy tales on the fractured side, pair this one with Jon Scieszka's very funny {THE FROG PRINCE, CONTINUED BY Scieszka, Jon(Author)}The Frog Prince, Continued.[paperback]Puffin Books(Publisher).

Losing El Lobo: The Three Little Tamales by Eric Kimmel

One day three little tamales saw a tortilla rolling by. "Where are you going" they asked.

"I'm running away," the tortilla told them, "If I stay here, someone's going to eat me. You'll be eaten, too. You'd better run."

"We don't want to be eaten," the three little tamales said. They jumped out the window and ran down the road before anyone knew they were gone."

You probably think you know where this one is going, right? The proprietors of the taqueria are going to give chase, joined by assorted hungry farmers and school children, until the little tamales take a trip across el rio on the back of a tricky fox and become his own tasty tamale treat. Pero, NO!

Eric Kimmel refuses to follow the familiar Gingerbread Boy scenario in his latest folktale adaptation. Instead, in un momento we find ourselves in another famous format. The three tamales find their own new homes--the first in a house built of prairie sagebrush, the second in an elegant hut of rustling cornstalks, and the third and most provident little tamale continues on until she reaches a grove of saguaro cactus.

"Cactus will make a strong house. The thorns will protect me," the third little tamale said.

She slept soundly that night, protected by cactus.

And by now kids listening and reading this one will be picking up this another familiar plot line and they will know that when they turn the next page, there is going to be a hungry wolf in the picture.

And it seems El Lobo has already learned his lines as well...

"Senora Tamale,
por favor,
I want to come in,
so open the door.

I'll huff and puff
like a Texas tornado
and blow your casita
from here to Laredo."

Of, course, the frightened tamale takes off for the shelter of her brother's cornstalk crib, where the huff-and-puff scenario is repeated. And then, at last, El Lobo arrives, hassled and still hungry before the cactus castle of the third little tamale and repeats his rude request, with a similar response.

"Senor Lobo, muy guapo,
I'm sorry to say,
I won't let you in,
so please go away."

As you might predict, the encounter escalates when Senor Lobo, unable to blow down the cactus casita, leaps to the roof and with a loud "AY! AY! AY!" as his paws are pierced by the thorns, delivers his ultimatum and starts down the chimney-- landing (you guessed it) right in a conveniently provided pot of boiling water.

"Let me out!, Senor Lobo howled.

"No, we can't," the three little tamales replied. "We're cooking wolf tamales for dinner!"

I don't want to be a tamale!" Senor Lobo yelled.

Of course, El Lobo finds he has a pressing engagement elsewhere and is soon out of sight and seen no more by the tres tamales, who are now free to have a fiesta with all the tortillas in town in attendance!

Eric Kimmel, whose wonderful way with a folktale goes way back to his top-selling Anansi and the Moss-covered Rock, uses the southwestern scene to add a taste of salsa to this time-proven tale. In his latest Three Little Tamales, (Marshall Cavendish, 2009) Kimmel passes on the porkers in the original tale and picks a picaresque parody set, as in his earlier The Runaway Tortilla, at a Texas taqueria. Kids will pick right up on the compare-and-contrast variations, and aided by Valeria Docampo's spicy illustrations, will soon be repeating the refrain right along with the narrator in this made-to-be-read-aloud version of an old favorite con mucho gusto!

An introductory glossary with pronunciation guide makes the occasional light use of Spanish in Kimmel's tasty text easily understandable for the reader.

The Anti-Ashenputtel: The Birthday Ball by Lois Lowry

When Princess Patricia Priscilla woke on the morning of the day that was five days before her birthday, her first thoughts were not Oh, I am almost another year older, hardly a child anymore! or I wonder what fabulous gifts will be presented to me at the birthday Ball six nights from now!

No. Her thoughts were Bored, bored, bored!

But although she does not yet know it, boredom is the least of Princess Patricia's problems. Her loving but vague parents--the Queen vain and hard-of-hearing, the King absorbed only in completing his rare butterfly collection--have failed to mention that at her sixteenth birthday ball, she must choose a consort from the noble suitors there present to give the kingdom its heir.

Princess Patricia, oblivious to her upcoming fate, is driven by her boredom to order her servant Tess, chambermaid number 17, to change clothes with her so that she can find some diversion in attending the local school in disguise. Dirtying her feet and mussing her hair, the princess assumes the identity of peasant girl Pat and, costumed in rustic braids and Tess's plain homespun, joins the village children on the path to their one-room schoolhouse. With only four days to enjoy the freedom to be herself, Pat immediately falls for the joys of teaching little "norphan" Liz and for the kindness of the handsome young schoolmaster Rafe, who, newly assigned to his job and unaware of Pat's true identify, urges his star pupil to pursue a career in pedagogy.

But time marches on, and as Princess Patricia Priscilla's birthday rolls around, Tess fills her ears with the castle scuttlebutt about her potential husbands.

"As for them suitors, miss--well, we haven't talked about them suitors. But I seen them, miss, when they arrived. One is the ugliest man in the world, miss, with teeth that stick out and a huge snarl of dirty hair all ratted up. And the next one, miss, well, the next one don't do nuthin' but strut and look at hisself every minute, and his hair is sleeked back with foul-smelling oil. And the last one, miss, blimey, the last one is two stuck together, slapping at each other and spitting and using the coarsest language--"

And the suitors are all Tess says they are and worse! Duke Desmond of Dyspepsia, with his protuberant decayed teeth and his pendulous belly, resembling nothing so much as a warthog, has hordes of servants whose job is to shield him from mirrors, shiny objects, or calm bodies of water so that he never sees his own ugliness. Prince Percival of Pustula, on the other hand, has a brigade of mirror bearers so that he can admire himself 24/7, despite the fact that his oily hair sheds so much dandruff that he employs valets merely to brush off his black-clad suit continually. The last suitor, or suitors, depending on what parts of them you count, are the conjoined twins, Count Cuthbert and Count Colin the Conjoint of Coagulatia, who not only reek from the lack of an adequate bathtub, but share a fondness for scatological humor, belching, and punching and tweaking each other endlessly.

Princess Patricia Priscilla suddenly realizes that it is up to her to take matters into her own hands and escape the impossible choice that the birthday ball brings.

Luckily, in this pampered princess two-time Newbery Award-winner Lois Lowry has a heroine who is up to her role as the anti-Cinderella of this upside-down fairy tale. In her forthcoming The Birthday Ball (Houghton Mifflin, 2010) Lowry borrows plot devices liberally not only from the Cinderella motif, but also from Shakespeare's comedies of mistaken identity and Twain's The Prince and the Pauper, all the while creating a cast of original and well-realized characters. There's even a parallel romance between Tess, the perky seventeenth chambermaid, and Pulley Boy, the buff and hunky peasant lad whose job it is to hoist the dumb waiter from the kitchen to the banquet hall, not to mention subordinate denouements which give the three dismissed suitors another lease on life. It's a happy ending, even for the slightly stunned and newly be-nobled consort elect:

Sir Rafe took the hand of the princess and smiled at her. "This has been a very confusing evening, Princess.... You seem to have chosen me. Chosen me for what?"

The princess laughed. "First of all, to help me become a teacher, of course!" She took his hand and led him toward the ballroom floor. "After that, well, we'll see."

He stood there, embarrassed. "I don't know how to dance," he confessed, blushing.

"Ah!" she replied in delight, and reached out her arms to show him how to arrange his. "My first teaching assignment!"

Lowry's well-honed humor and literary skills are in full play in this well-told tale, and Jules Feiffer's minimalist caricatures are absolutely spot on in this story of the princess who finds both true loves of her life, her calling and her soul mate, at the ball. All's well that ends well, and on the fifth night of this timely tale, the ending is sure to be as you like it.