Invader Persuader! Mind Your Monsters! by Catherine Bailey

WALLY ENJOYED A QUIET, NORMAL LIFE...

UNTIL ONE DAY MONSTERS INVADED HIS SMALL TOWN AND MADE A MESS OF EVERYTHING.

The invading monsters eschew etiquette!

The zombies lose their heads as they nosh on the lampposts. The vampires vanquish the screaming kids from the park.

The werewolves empty the sidewalks as they wander growling through the town.

And they were as stinky as rotten eggs!

Wally tries ignoring the monsters, but the vampires' roarings are scary. He tries gentle requests and stern statements, but the monster mash continues.

The vampires and werewolves go on right on wrecking the town. The folks in town try to flee, but a giant octopus sink the boats in the harbor and an ogre occupies the main road out.

Something has to be done.

WALLY WAS FED UP!

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP BREAKING ALL OUR STUFF?" WALLY SHOUTED.

The monsters stop their mayhem. In fact, from that moment they are on their best behavior. The secret must be the magic word ... PLEASE!

There are many and varied critters in this monster mashup, in Catherine Bailey's Mind Your Monsters (Sterling Books, 2015), a gentle introduction to the scary characters of the spooky season, with an added plug for minding Ps and Qs in public and always saying "please!" Artist Oriol Vidal plants plenty of sight gags in the background as the citizens and the roaming monsters have some silly encounters, while the monsters themselves are clearly very un-scary, just as the preschool audience of this book might prefer. For the littlest monster mavens, pair this one with Natalie Marshall's Monster, Be Good!

Impolite Pastries: Rude Cakes by Rowboat Watkins

RUDE CAKES NEVER SAY PLEASE.

AND THEY NEVER SAY THANK YOU.

AND THEY SOMETIMES TAKE THINGS THAT ARE NOT THEIRS.

These cakes may be sugary, but you wouldn't call them sweet! You wouldn't call them goody-goodies, either.

They don't take turns, but they do take ice cream away from babies.

Not since the Gingerbread Boy refused to follow directions and cool it quietly have confections been so contrary. But there is justice. Rude cakes get grabbed by Giant Cyclops, who grab their cans of cola right through the window in their bedroom. Luckily, the Cyclops don't eat cakes. They wear them on their heads.

"OMG! IT'S THE CUTEST HAT EVER!

But the Giant Cyclops persist in being polite. They take great care of their hats.

But Rude Cakes can't control their fresh mouths! When one cake gets put in the bath before bed, he responds impertinently.

"I'M A CAKE!

HOW DIRTY CAN I BE?"

Purple Cyclops may be perfectly polite, but Rude Cakes persist in being perfectly impolite, in Rowboat Watkins' silly and strangely surreal tale. Rude Cakes. Rude Cakes never mind their manners, but kids will eat up this lesson in etiquette learned from baked goods gone bad. In a starred review, School Library Journal says, "This entertaining offering will make for a riotous storytime."

Behave Yourself! Being a Pig Is Nice: A Child's Eye View of Manners by Sally Lloyd-Jones

When you are a PIG, it's not polite to be clean. It's very rude.

You have to get muddy or you get in trouble.

And when you're filthy and yucky enough, your daddy will say, "Good job, my little piggy, all nice and muddy and ready for bed.

BUT, when you ARE a PIG, you smell...and that's not nice!"

There are plenty of laughs at the crucial differences between appropriate human and animal behaviors in Sally Lloyd-Jones' Being a Pig Is Nice: A Child's-Eye View of Manners, (Schwartz & Wade, 2009) but if you look just a bit beneath the surface, there's also some subtle teachings on the reasons for human manners. Skipping the nightly bath and going to bed filthy may seem a treat, but smelling like a PIG--not so much!

Lloyd-Jones points up the other side of being an owl and making noise all night. ("Stop that naughty sleeping right now! Don't make me fly over there or you'll be sorry!") and being a monkey ("You know the drill, young lady! Mouth open wide and show me your food! Now burp like a good little monkey!") Elephants get to splash everyone whether they like it or not, and snails get to dawdle even when they're impatient. And monsters? Your mom is always saying, "Are you going to be good? I HOPE NOT!"

But owls have to eat mice for breakfast, and snails have to be slimy, and monkeys have to eat grubs out of everyone's ears, and even monsters can't ever be good, even if they're in a mellow mood, so maybe it's not so bad just to be a polite child sometimes!

In Being a Pig Is Nice: A Child's-Eye View of Manners, Sally Lloyd-Jones and cartoonist/artist Don Krall enjoy a humorous look at human etiquette, poking gentle fun at moms and their warnings, but all in all making it seem generally preferable to stick to our tried and true human ways.

Tempest at the Tea Party: Tea for Ruby by Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York

YOU ARE INVITED TO HAVE TEA WITH THE QUEEN ON SUNDAY.

PLEASE BRING YOUR VERY BEST MANNERS.

Even little girls who dream of lifting a pinkie with royalty need some education in etiquette, and Ruby is no exception.

When she finds an elaborate invitation to tea on Sunday next in her mailbox, Ruby is ecstatic! Immediately she yells out her good news to the mailman who just delivered the envelope.

"Ruby, I hope you won't shout when you have tea with the Queen," he laughs.

Ruby races into her house where her brother is reclining on the sofa with his iPod, jumps on the sofa as she tells him her news, and spills his popcorn all over the floor.

"Ruby, I hope you won't interrupt when you have tea with the Queen!" he grumbles.

Undaunted by his complaints, Ruby runs for the playground, jumping ahead of the line to announce her good fortune from the top of the slide.

"Ruby, I hope you will wait your turn when you have tea with the Queen!" her friends grouse.

Ruby spreads her good news during a performance at Mr. Roy's Puppet Farm, rushes into her ballet class to spread the word without changing into her ballet costume, and yells out her tale to her weary dad before he can get in the door in the evening.

"Ruby, I hope you will remember to welcome people when you have tea with the Queen," he counsels.

Ruby's biggest faux pas of the day comes when she tell her news at dinner.

"BIVE BLIN BLIGHTED DOO BLAV BLEE BLIV BLEE FLEEN" she announces with a full mouth, spewing spaghetti everywhere, from her hair to her family's plates.

"Ruby, I hope you won't talk with your mouth full and won't tip your chair back and will use your fork and napkin when you have tea with the Queen!"

At last the big day comes. Pampered and primped and presumably with her best manners at the ready, Ruby and her mother drive sedately to--her grandmother's house. There on the porch is a large banner which reads "WELCOME TO TEA AT THE PALACE!"

"My princess!" welcomes Grandma, and the tea party is a huge success.

Oh, and Ruby even remembers to send "the Queen" a very polite thank-you note.

Dear Grandma,

Thank you so much for inviting me to tea. I tried to use my best manners. The treats were delicious, but my favorite thing was just being with you.

I love you,
Ruby

Normally I'm not a big fan of celebrity authors, but after all, Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson should know a thing or two about having tea with the Queen, and her advice on etiquette is good even if we never tip a teacup at Windsor Palace. The chief attractions here, however, are the exuberantly elegant illustrations of Robin Preiss Glasser, best known for her work in the very popular Fancy Nancy series. Tea for Ruby (Paula Wiseman Books) is a worthy addition to what might be termed the "pinque" genre of picture books for girls who like their heroines on the unabashedly fancy side.