To Bathe or Not to Bathe: The Pigeon Needs a Bath by Mo Willems

I DO NOT!

Pigeon is incensed that anyone should suggest that he is filthy, stinky, and in need of a douche in the suds.

Never mind that he's just emerged from a splash in the mud puddle.  After all, he had  a bath ... um, last month? And, what is "dirty," anyway. Then Pigeon switches from linguistics to philosophy:

LIFE IS SO SHORT. WHY WASTE IT ON UNIMPORTANT THINGS?

And what smell? Wings akimbo, Pigeon declares that he smells perfectly normal--for a pigeon.

But a flock of flies buzz by and beg to differ.

P.U.! YUCK!

As they fly off, page right, the final fly has the most unkindest cut of all:

"TAKE A BATH, DUDE!"

Oh, all right. FINE! Pigeon decides to take the plunge. Except that the bathtub looks as big as an Olympic pool. And getting the water just right is hard. Too hot. Too cold. Too lukewarm. Pigeon fiddles with the hot and cold knobs, back and forth. Add some. Drain some. Add some. And then there are the bath toys. Too many toys. Not enough toys. Dozens of rubber duckies? One duckie?

Mo Willems' latest best-selling Pigeon story, The Pigeon Needs a Bath! (Hyperion, 2014) has his stand-in for the obstinate toddler type in full bath resistance mode, right up to the point where Pigeon finally manages the splash-down. Willems is the reigning master of the cartoon character, and his beginning reader badinage will get giggles from kids and knowing chuckles from parents alike. Like Pigeon, who decides he rather likes it in the bath after all, readers will wonder...

"CAN I STAY IN THE TUB FOREVER?"

Released ahead of publication schedule, this latest Pigeon tale is just in time for an funny April Fool surprise.

Cookie Monster II, or Make Mine Without Nuts: The Duckling Gets A Cookie by Mo Willems

I DO NOT LIKE THE LOOKS OF THAT TITLE.

The voice is irrefutably that of the irascible and opinionated Pigeon, who would be the star of his own show wherever and whatever that means!

When the terminally cute little Duckling ask politely for a cookie (with a Scooty, scoot, scoot), he gets it right away from an unidentified hand.

OH. LOOK AT ALL THOSE NUTS.

But before the darling little duckling gets to take even an exploratory nibble, Pigeon appears, as usual in an imperious and fowl mood. Pigeon is incensed that Duckling got a cookie--and he didn't.

SOMETIMES I ASK TO DRIVE THE BUS. I'VE ASKED FOR A HOT DOG! I CAN'T COUNT THE TIMES I'VE ASKED FOR MY OWN PERSONAL ICEBERG....

BUT DO I GET WHAT I ASK FOR?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

But Duckling knows what he's doing. With an calculating look in his little baby blues, he innocently hands over the cookie to Pigeon, still in full fit and meltdown mode, gently pointing out that he only asked (politely) for that cookie (with NUTS) for ONE reason:

...SO I COULD GIVE IT TO YOU.

Pigeon is totally featherblasted with this outcome. His tantrum aborted in full rant, he regains his composure, thanks Duckling politely, and exits page right, with a satisfied Chomp!

Duckling has his own reasons, something up his little yellow wing feathers, so to speak, as he ever so politely asks for another cookie.

BUT THIS TIME WITHOUT NUTS.

This guy is a genius! Mo Willems' just published The Duckling Gets a Cookie!? (Pigeon) (Hyperion, 2012) further demonstrates his mastery of the picture book medium. Willems can portray more human nature with one wry eyelid than some artists can put into an heroic-scale oil painting. Simple line and simple text belie the artistry in Willems' work, which defies description. Just click and buy the book, okay? You'll see!

For more laughs, catch "Rock Dove" on News at Eleven for more pigeon poop scoop on this book here.

Careful What You Wish For! The Pigeon Wants a Puppy by Mo Willems

"Do you know what I want? What I've wanted forever?
At least since last Tuesday. A PUPPY!"

In Mo Willems' latest The Pigeon Wants a Puppy Pigeon, that eternal optimist who believes a pigeon can drive a bus as well as anyone, has a new craving--a puppy.

This is not to say that Pigeon's expectations of dog ownership are exactly, um, realistic.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll take care of it.
I'll water it once a month."

Pigeon makes his case for puppy ownership in his own peculiar pigeon logic. He points out that he plans to spend a lot of time with his puppy--riding piggyback and playing tennis with him. "I want a puppy RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" he exclaims, threatening a toddler-type tantrum.

Reality, however, intrudes upon Pigeon's persuasive oration, in the form of an actual DOG with an actual "WOOF WOOF." Pigeon is taken aback at the towering figure.

"It's HUGE!
The teeth. The hair!
That wet nose! The slobber! The claws!
I mentioned the TEETH, right?"

Proclaiming that he's changed his mind about puppies, Pigeon hot-foots it off the page as the dog pursues him with a friendly lick. Never one to dwell on lost dreams, Pigeon adjusts his desires with a quick declaration.

"I want a WALRUS!"

Beginning with his Caldecott Honor book Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!, Willem's Pigeon stories are really parables for toddlers, with Pigeon portraying the opinionated youngster who wants what he wants when he wants it. The droll illustrations, in this latest book executed against pink and lavender page stock, are highly stylized but simple line drawings which capture the essence of the subject in a few deft strokes. Other books in this easy-to-read picture book series are Don't Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late!, The Pigeon Has Feelings, Too!, The Pigeon Loves Things That Go! and The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog!

Mo Willems' honors this year include a Caldecott Honor award for Knuffle Bunny Too: A Case of Mistaken Identity, reviewed here , and his Theodore Seuss Geisel Award book There Is a Bird On Your Head! (Elephant and Piggie) reviewed in my post here.