The Ice Age Cometh! The Meltdown: Diary of a Wimpy Kid? by Jeff Kinney

JANUARY: Everybody in my neighborhood is outside today enjoying the warm weather--except ME. It's kind of hard to enjoy a heat wave in the middle of WINTER.

Even though it's warm outside, the thermostat at school still thinks it's WINTER. So the furnace is on full blast all day, which makes it hard to concentrate in class.

If we do figure a way out of this climate mess, it's gonna be someone from MY generation. That's why I'm always nice to the SMART kids, because THEY'RE the ones who are going to save our butts.

But the warm spell stops abruptly. The Ice Age is back, and Greg and his best friend Rowley are back to frozen feet on the walk to and from school.The school bus only goes as far as Lower Surrey Street; both of them live on Upper Surrey; and the kids on Lower Surrey always ambush them if they take the bus. Greg gets the idea of taking the Whirley Street bus halfway home and then cutting across the woods to Upper Surrey Street. But despite their winter mufflers, the Whirley Street kids discover they are interlopers and chase them into the woods, where they meet up with the worst kids of all--the Mingos, who seem to live in the woods all year.

All I knew for sure was that if we stopped running, we'd be DEAD.

Just as it felt like the voices were on TOP of us, we broke through the trees and into the open.

SCREECH! Luckily Dad was paying attention or me and Rowley would've been ROADKILL!

But at least it would have been over QUICK. I'm sure the MINGOS would've take their TIME.

And then it starts snowing--hard--for days. School is called off, and when their moms decree no video games inside, Greg and Rowley decide to build the snow fort to end all snow forts, a veritable medieval redoubt of hand-crafted blocks of snow. But their challenge does not go unnoticed. The Lower Surrey Street army rises to the occasion, followed by the Whirley Street knights. Even the all-girl Safety Patrol and the Mingo family get into the melee'! Let the snowball wars begin!

It's the cold, cold world for the Wimpy Kid, in Jeff Kinney's latest in his mega-popular graphic series of middle school stories, Diary of a Wimpy Kid The Meltdown Book 13 (Amulet Books, 2018). No doubt, Greg Heffley will be ready for the spring thaw and the long-awaited end to this winter of his discontent.

It's a great book to have on hand for the first snow day! Other books (and movies) in the Diary of A Wimpy Kid series can be found here.

Pairing up: The Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Third Wheel by Jeff Kinney



We’re starting a ballroom dancing unit in Phys Ed, and Mrs. Moretta said each of us needed to find a partner.

To be honest with you, I don’t really care who I get paired up with as long as it isn’t Ruby Bird.

As far as I know, Ruby is the only girl who has ever been suspended from our school, and that was for biting a teacher. In fact, the reason Ruby has only one front tooth is because the other one ended up in Mr. Underwood’s elbow. I know if she’s my dance partner, I’ll do SOMETHING to make her mad and end up with her other tooth in MY arm.

But there are a lot more boys in my class this year than girls, so it made sense that not everyone got a partner. But Mrs. Moretta said that EVERYONE had to dance and she started pairing us boys up with ONE ANOTHER. The next thing I knew I was dancing the waltz with Carlos Escalera.

Today Phys Ed was canceled because we had a general assembly during fourth period. I have to admit I was a little disappointed, because believe it or not, me and Carlos have actually been getting the hang of the meringue'.

And Greg is going to need those cool moves. The subject of that assembly is the seventh-grade Valentine’s Dance, and it’s suddenly a serious mission to ask a girl to the dance. Greg scrambles for a socially acceptable date (i.e., one that isn’t Ruby Bird or Carlos) without, like, actually asking a girl in person. He decides he needs a minion, a wing man, as he puts it, to do the actual asking, and taps his sidekick Rowly for the job. But when Rowly strikes out as Minister of Romance, Greg fears he’s going to be one of those left-out lonely guys.

But then a surprise epidemic of chicken pox (who ever gets those anymore?) sweeps the seventh grade and some girls are left dateless. It’s game on for girlfriends all over again, and when Abigail Brown agrees to go with Greg and Rowly as “a group of friends,” the dance looks like a sure thing. With a new, hand-me-down suit from big brother Rodrick, his stash of cash to pay for dinner out, and Rowly’s dad down as designated limo driver for the evening, it’s a date!

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, everything (except the last dance) does, in Jeff Kinney’s latest installment in his best-selling series, The Third Wheel (Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Book 7) (Abrams Books, 2012). It’s another wry walk through the Wonder Years with the world’s most famous wimpy kid! As Publishers Weekly puts it, ”Seven books into the bestselling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, Kinney isn't messing with a good thing, and he continues to mine middle-school life for comedic gold.”

And if readers just can’t get too much middle-school mirth, (and from their sales, that’s not happening) there’s always Greg’s literary cousin, Lincoln Pierce’s latest top-selling Big Nate Makes the Grade (Big Nate Comic Compilations) (Andrews McMeel, 2012) or James Patterson’s latest Middle School: Get Me out of Here! (Little, Brown, 2012) (See my review here.)

Dog-gone Days! The Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days by Jeff Kinney

FOR ME, SUMMER VACATION IS BASICALLY A THREE-MONTH GUILT TRIP.

JUST BECAUSE THE WEATHER'S NICE, EVERYONE EXPECTS YOU TO BE OUTSIDE ALL DAY "FROLICKING" OR WHATEVER. BUT THE TRUTH IS, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN MORE OF AN INDOOR PERSON.

THE WAY I LIKE TO SPEND MY SUMMER VACATION IS IN FRONT OF THE TV, PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH THE CURTAINS CLOSED AND THE LIGHTS TURNED OFF.

UNFORTUNATELY, MOM'S IDEA OF THE PERFECT SUMMER VACATION IS DIFFERENT FROM MINE.

Having survived the first year of middle school, Greg Heffley now has to survive his mom's idea of "The Best Summer Ever." There's the Reading Is Fun Club she sets up for all Greg's "friends." Luckily by the second meeting Greg is the only member left. Trips to Rowley's country club pool are cut off when Rowley's dad gets the $83 bill for smoothies the boys run up, and when Greg and Rowley partner in the V.I.P. Lawn Service to pay off that debt, Greg "poops" out when it comes to pushing a mower over dog doo.

A beach trip is a no go because of the economy, and when Greg persuades his mom that he should "bond" with his dad by doing his back-to-school shopping with him, Dad buys Greg's fall wardrobe from the sale table at the pharmacy. Still, there is his birthday to look forward to, right?

Wrong. Greg's parents confiscate all his money gifts to pay off the outstanding smoothie bill and give him what he asked for--a cell phone--except that it's the Ladybug model for senior citizens, programmed only to call home or 9-1-1. Uncle Joe's dog Killer eats half the cake while Greg is opening his gifts, and his mom gallantly tries to salvage the party by cutting off the dog-chewed part and dishing up a big slice for the birthday boy. As Greg observes, "but by that point I wasn't really in the mood for cake, especially not with Killer throwing up little birthday candles under the table."

But at least the Ladybug comes in handy when big brother Rodrick convinces Greg that his dad is planning to dump him in the city with strangers. Greg doubts the story, but after a drive through a strange and suspicious urban neighborhood, he panics and uses the cell phone to call 9-1-1 just before his dad turns into the parking lot at the ball park for their belated bonding day. At least the cops enjoy the free tickets to the game.

Sic transit gloria. With a summer like this one, middle school should be looking better than ever for Greg Heffley.

Jeff Kinney's just-published fourth Wimpy Kid book, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days,(Abrams, 2009) is another laugh-out-loud killer-diller. Even reluctant readers will be signing up for this Reading Is Fun experience.