Back to School: Steve, Raised by Wolves by Jared Chapman

STEVE WAS RAISED BY WOLVES.

THEN, ONE DAY, MOTHER WOLF WALKED HIM THROUGH THE WOODS...

AND TO THE... BUS STOP.

"STEVE," SAID HIS MOM, "I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL. IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO GET ALONG WITH HUMANS, BUT JUST BE YOURSELF.

I KNOW YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT DAY."

Mama Wolf could have been a little more specific in her advice. Steve's experience with other humans has been mostly scaring campers with his authentic wolf growls, so when the obviously intimidated teacher calls the roll, Steve answers with his best "HOOOOOOWWWWLLLLL!"

Enjoying the attention, Steve shows off a little, shredding banners and posters welcoming the kids back to school. He pounces on a few of his classmates, and (I am sorry to report) scent-marks the playground slide!

In the cafeteria he opens the lunch bag his mom had lovingly packed and pulls out his lunch--a dead bird, feathers and all. Needless to say, no one enjoyed sitting at Steve's table. His teacher sends him home with a note:

Mrs. Wolf,
Steve had a hard time staying out of trouble today.
--Mrs. Meadows

Mrs. Wolf was patient.

"I LOVE THAT YOU ARE BEING YOURSELF," SAID MRS. WOLF.

"I KNOW YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE THIS WORK."

The next morning when Steve bounds into his classroom, he finds everyone in a tizzy. Reggie, the classroom pet hamster, is missing! The kids are frantically looking under cabinets and behind equipment. Some of them are near tears.

But then, Steve's wolf training comes into play. He sniffs around the room and gets a whiff of hamster. Following the scent he lopes down the hall to the cafeteria and follows his keen nose right to the fridge. And inside is Reggie, cheerfully chomping on a stalk of the lunch ladies' celery.

AND HE LOOKED DELICIOUS!

But this time Steve's human instincts are beginning to kick in, and he senses that eating their pet is not going to work with his classmates. The kids all cheer for Steve. He's their new class hero! They all want to sit with him at lunch, where fortunately, they see that his mom has discretely packed his dead bird this time between two slices of bread!

In his forthcoming, Steve, Raised by Wolves (Little, Brown and Company, 2015 Jared Chapman's off-beat sense of humor documents the familiar story of the kid who doesn't quite seem to get the school thing at first. After all, Steve was raised in a cave. But Steve seems on his way to settling in with his new pack and he proudly delivers another note to his mom when he gets off the bus that afternoon.

Mrs. Wolf,
Steve had a GREAT DAY!
--Mrs. Meadows

Every child comes to school out of a unique family culture and has to find a way to be himself or herself in the school setting, and kids will howl with self-conscious glee at Steve's faux pas on his first day.

Consumer Reports: The Three Little Pigs and the Somewhat Bad Wolf by Mark Teague

When the fickle finger of fate causes three pig siblings to lose their jobs,  the farmer, retiring to Florida, gives them severance pay and sends them out to seek their fortunes.

"LET'S BUY POTATO CHIPS," SAID THE FIRST PIG.

"LET'S BUY SODY-POP," SAID THE SECOND PIG.

"LET'S BUY BUILDING SUPPLIES," SAID THE THIRD PIG.

The third sibling, a rather prissy and practical girl pig, is obviously focused on long-term goals, while her lazy brothers just want to feed their faces.

The three pigs part company to follow their bliss.  The practical pig heads for the home improvement store and spends her money on bricks and other durable building materials and soon is busy with bricklaying and gardening chores. The other two pigs settle for the fairy tale version of shacks, building their domiciles from dirt-cheap straw and sticks.

Everybody's happy, until a somewhat bad and very hungry wolf blows into town. Denied service at Do-Nut Dan's, Hot Dog Hal's, and Pete's Pizza Parlor, Wolfie decides he'll have to find food on the hoof, er, trotter. The two lazy sods scarfing down chips and soda look like easy marks, so he does the Huff 'n' Puff thing on their down-market dwellings.  It's instant domicile devastation!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WORKS!" THE WOLF SAID.

But when the two pigs flee to their more provident sister's house,the now very, very hungry wolf follows to the third piggy-scented house. This one is solid and somewhat intimidating, even to a wolf of proven windiness. He decides to try their doorbell first, but when they refuse to answer, he falls back on huffing and puffing--all to no avail on this up-scale residence.

"DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL THERE?" SAID ONE PIG.

THE THEE PIGS LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND SAW THE WOLF COLLAPSED ON THE LAWN.

"LOOK AT THE POOR GUY," SAID THE LAZY PIGS.

"MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME POTATO CHIPS," SAID THE FIRST PIG. "MAYBE HE NEEDS SOME SODY POP," SAID THE SECOND PIG.

"NEVER MIND THAT STUFF," SAID THE THIRD PIG. "DINNER IS ALMOST READY."

There's more than one way to win over a wolf in Mark Teague's new fractured fairy tale version of the classic, titled The Three Little Pigs and the Somewhat Bad Wolf (Orchard Books, 2013).His tongue-in-cheek text is set off perfectly with Teague's trademark comic illustrations, with plenty of clever visual jokes for the sharp-eyed reader, including the farmer's cat, duck, and goose who are also squatters at the practical pig's house. Teague's frequent shifts in perspective keep the familiar story line moving along in this twist on the old tale in which the wolf becomes a well-fed member of the pig household, happy and no longer hungry ever after.

An "entertaining and refreshing adaptation of the classic tale," says Publishers Weekly. But if kids still haven't gotten their fill of fractured fare, add a side dish of Lane Smith's award-winning The True Story of the Three Little Pigs and Eugene Trivizas' The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig for a trio of tasty rib-sticking, rib-tickling spoofs of the classics.

Three Dojo Dudes! Three Ninja Pigs by Corey Rosen Schwartz

ONE UPON A DANGEROUS TIME
A WOLF LOVED TO HUFF AND PUFF.
HE'D GO AROUND THE TOWN.
AND BLOW HOUSES DOWN.
TILL THREE LITTLE PIGS CRIED, "ENOUGH!"

Luckily, these are three little pigs of Nippon, so instead of leaving home to seek their fortunes, they head out to the local dojo to learn some martial arts.

The first little pig chooses aikido. and masters a few militant moves, but getting bored, he moves on to build his own little thatched hut, sure that he can take on any mangy marauder. The second little pig selects a second type of martial art, jujitsu, "KIYA!," he calls, as he concludes he now knows quite enough to kayo any wolf that comes down the pike.

"BUT, PIG-SAN, YOU MUST STUDY MORE," THE MASTERS SAY.

But it's Sayonara, Sensei! as the second little pig becomes another dojo dropout, and settles down in his comfy little stick-built house.

The third little pig is more perseverant. She stays in karate school until she becomes herself a master of all the moves.

BY THE TIME SHE WAS THROUGH,
SHE COULD BREAK BOARDS IN TWO
BY PERFORMING A PERFECT PORK CHOP!

Confident in her karate skills, she builds herself a sturdy brick hog home and settles down. But before she can even invite her brothers over for a cup of swill, the Wolf decides it's time to pester pigs again.

The first two pigs face him bravely, but find that they are somewhat lacking!

YO, BACON!" HE HOLLERS.

The imperfectly prepped pigs are soon., shall we say, "blown away" by the Wolf.

"PIGGONE! I WISH I HAD BEEN MORE PREPARED!"

And in the best tradition of this familiar story, it's all up to the third little pig, who quickly teaches the Big Bad Wolf not to mess with a pig in a gi!

Corey Schwartz' fractured fairy tale, The Three Ninja Pigs (G.P. Putnam's Sons, 2012) is an unique re-telling of this traditional oft-told tale with an original setting, done up in limerick verses that kids will love. Inventive artist Dan Santat contributes another set of his unique cartoon-styled illustrations that keep the plot moving along until the ninja pig knocks off that pesky predator and provides him with a well-deserved comeuppance.

THREE PIGS FOLLOW THEIR OWN MOJO,
THEY RAN THEIR OWN DOJO...

And presumably live happily ever after.