Making It in Middle School: Donutheart by Sue Stauffacher

The drop-dead funny, nerdy, but seriously good-hearted Franklin Delano Donuthead has moved on in middle school, where (yikes!) his favorite front seat in science class subjects the obsessive-compulsive Franklin to a shower of spittle from his speech-challenged teacher. And that's a minor problem for Franklin (solved by safety glasses and a constant supply of hydrogen peroxide wipes), as his lady love, the impeccable Glynnis Powell, becomes a cheerleader, his mom gets a Zamboni-driving boyfriend, and he confronts the challenge of the middle school boys' bathroom, complete with his old nemesis, bully Marvin Howerton, and even scarier eighth graders. As Franklin puts it,

In the course of human events, it is sometimes necessary to reduce one's water intake to delay natural functioning. Using the boys' bathroom at Pelican View Middle School was to be avoided whenever possible. I will spare you the details of my first visit; it's enough to know that it involved me, Franklin Delano Donuthead, an industrial-sized roll of toilet paper, and an eighth grader's knowledge of ancient Egyptian mummification techniques.

But for germ obsessed, safety conscious Franklin, his friend Sarah Kervick is the greatest challenge to his hazard-avoidance regime. Still a slacker at school, Sarah Kervick is happily following her bliss on her way to becoming a famous figure skater, thanks to the intervention and generosity of Franklin's mother and his mentor Gloria Nelots, chief statistician with the National Safety Department. The two women have provided Sarah with new clothes, ice skates, transportation to the rink, and as Sarah excitedly trains for her first exhibition, the promise of a skating costume in which to compete.

A major problem arises when Sarah refuses to wear the traditional short-skirted skating costume and insists on wearing pants in competition. Franklin's mother Julie finally discovers her secret, a huge, disfiguring burn scar, which she suspects is the result of abuse from Sarah's shiftless and itinerant father. Fearing separation from her father, though, she refuses to reveal anything about her home life in a rusted out camper trailer. Creative improvisation by Julie and her girlfriend Peggy results in a eye-catching crimson-caped bullfighter's costume in which Sarah pulls off a great performance.

But when she doesn't show up at school the next week, the Donutheads visit her trailer and realize that Sarah and her father are gone, leaving behind one of Sarah's skates among the sad remnants of their hard-knock life. While visiting the boys' bathroom under the protection of the custodian, Franklin gets a call from Sarah in which she begs Franklin to bring her the missing skate. Franklin realizes that he must make the bus trip alone to the roughest section of the big city to deliver her skate so Sarah can continue to practice. Fear of germs, gang-style criminals, and seat-beltless buses renders Franklin almost catatonic, but the pull of friendship and responsibility is stronger, and he makes the trip, a giant step toward maturity for our weird but lovable hero.

Donutheart, the sequel to Stauffacher's Donuthead, takes her wacky, wonderful protagonist protesting all the way to the next level of life with all the humor, self-revelation, and surprises of the first book. Even middle school bullies will love Franklin Delano Donuthead.