Glass Houses: Memoirs of a Goldfish by Devin Scillian

I SWAM AROUND MY BOWL.

I THOUGHT ABOUT TAKING A NAP, BUT FISH DON'T SLEEP. SO I SWAM AROUND MY BOWL.

Keeping up the pace is not the challenge of our goldfish memoirist here. Things are pretty dull around (and around) the place, at least when there's a population of one in the old bowl.

But then the pace begin to pick up. First a guest drops in--a deep sea diver who is not the life of the party.

HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING. HE JUST BUBBLES.

HE'S CREEPY.

The next day brings a forest of plants all around the bowl. Goldfish is underwhelmed with the new landscaping.

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO WATER THEM.

GREAT.

But the next drop-in visitor is even LESS APPEALING--a snail named Mervin who likes to eat the slime off the inside of the bowl.

DISGUSTING!

Mervin the slime lover is followed by Fred the crab who is, well, crabby!

FRED SAYS I SHOULD STAY ON MY SIDE OF THE BOWL.

"LOOK," I SAY. "THE WHOLE BOWL IS MY SIDE OF THE BOWL."

But things only get worse. Into both disputed sides of the bowl are soon dropped an angelfish named Cha Cha and guppies named Rhoda and Clark who are soon to become parents of a whole school of guppy-ettes. Everyone is running into everyone else, and the only one who is happy is Mervin, who suddenly has more than enough slime for any snail. Goldfish has had it with the madding crowd.

I WANT MY BOWL BACK!

And somebody out there in the great beyond must be listening. The next day Goldfish finds himself scooped up and dropped into a small bowl. There is no Mr. Bubbles, no crabby Fred, no slime-sucking Mervin, nobody--just clean water as far as it goes. It's all his.

There is room to swim around--just barely. But it's really kinda dull, Goldfish has to admit. He can't help wondering what's going on back in the old neighborhood. Is Mr. B. still on his face, tangled in the plants? Did Rhoda have all her babies? Who's gonna help change their guppy diapers? If only they could all be together in slightly more commodious accommodations! If only this lonely guy goldfish had a friend.

Of course, Devin Scillian's just published Memoirs of a Goldfish (Sleeping Bear Press, 2010) provides that happy ending as the whole gang is reunited in a shiny bright new tank, with plenty of room for all, even its newest resident, an oh-so-attractive little goldfish named Gracie, all ably illustrated in comic style by artist Tim Bowers.

WE SWAM AROUND THE TANK TOGETHER.

TWICE.