The Great Prehistoric Panty Raid! Aliens Love Dinopants by Claire Freedman
A BAND OF PANTS-MAD ALIENS
ZOOMED DOWN HERE, WHEN... SURPRISE!
BRIGHT LIGHTS HIT THEIR SPACESHIP--BANG!
AND HURLED THEM FROM THE SKIES.
IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE!
No, not the asteroid that supposedly led to the demise of the dinosaurs. Here's the true story of how it went down.
The alien spaceship's pants-tracker beeps boisterously. The aliens hone in on the undies signal, which leads them to land near a jungle redoubt.
"WOW! WE MUST BE CLOSE," THEY CRIED.
"LET'S TAKE A PEEK INSIDE!"
And inside that hidden cache, the aliens discover a treasure trove of --
BOOTY FOR THEIR BOOTIES!
A HAUL FOR THEIR HEINIES!
Inside they uncover underwear--skivvies and shorts, boxers and briefs and bloomers and bikinis and BVDs. The pants-mad aliens have a pantie party, There are dozens of drawers for every duff!
But the drawers-hoarding dinosaurs are furious at the looting of their derriere-wear! This means WAR! It's the cosmic Cretaceous clash for keister coverings, and the battle of the bottoms is fearful, until one alien warrior proposes a peace plan:
WE'LL LAUNCH YOU INTO SPACE!
"WE'LL SEND YOU TO THE PLANET ZOOM,
A MOST PANT-TASTIC PLACE.
And so, according to Claire Freedman's Aliens Love Dinopants, (The Underpants Books) (Aladdin Books, 2015)...
Somewhere, in a galaxy far, far away,
Earth's top-drawered dinosaurs are still at play.
In this most recent of her undies series, Freedman's merry rhyming quatrains are back to tell us what really happened to the dinosaurs, a happy ending to the Great Underwear War. Nobody loves tails, er, tales of bottoms and briefs more than young readers of the primary grade persuasion, and fans of this series will definitely sit still for a new installment of The Underpants Books. Artist Ben Cort is in top form on this one with his signature comic characters undertaking all sorts of adventures in their never-ending search for the perfect pair of knickers. For this book Cort even provides delightful, er, end-papers showing a colorful collection of backside couture. As the Bard said it so memorably, "All's well that ends well."
Enjoy more knickers snickers from Freedman and Cort here.