Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Trial by Multiple Choice: Bad Kitty Takes the Test by Nick Bruel

Good morning, Kitty!

Kitty is sleeping off a totally unprovoked attack by a flock of birds, resulting in an injurious fall from the tree, when she is awakened by her owner with an official letter from S.C.A.M, the Society of Cat Aptitude Management.

Who knew pussy cats had to pass an aptitude test?

Apparently, Bad Kitty has been recalled by the powers that be for being guilty of uncatlike behavior.

Your cat license has been REVOKED.

In order to renew your cat license, you have to take a special course on being a cat, followed by a TEST.

Bad Kitty is incensed, but the next morning she finds herself in class, at a desk, along with her associate Chatty Kitty, one very odd kitty who looks like a chicken with clip-on cat ears, and another less-than-catlike student, Uncle Murray, who thinks he at the Driver's License Division for a simple license renewal.

And Bad Kitty's instructor is none other than Strange Kitty, with his usual top hat, rep tie, and erudite manner.

Bad Kitty knows how to deal with this situation. She promptly falls asleep.

She doesn't miss much. Strange Kitty rolls in the A-V cart with TV set and an up-to-date playback device known as a VCR, and starts an instructional video, "Our Friend The Cat," a ProTest, er, TestPro Production, starring their ever-popular avuncular host, Uncle Barney.

Then comes the multiple choice pre-pre-pre-pre, etc., test, proctored by a supervisor who also looks suspiciously like a graduate of ProTest, er, TestPro's Poultry Policing Department.

"Maybe we should get started," said Strange Kitty.

The ProTest, er, TestPro's procter replies in multiple-choice format:

A) Gosh! You think?
C) What a brilliant idea.
D) All of the above.

Answer: D

Will Bad Kitty make the grade or be a feline failure? Of course, between catnaps Bad Kitty craftily analyzes her test and comes up with egg-zactly what the test demands, in Nick Bruel's latest beginning chapter book, Bad Kitty Takes the Test (Square Fish, 2017). Author Bruel and his oddball cartoon cats poke zany fun at multiple-choice testing and chickens, and Bruel even appends "A Final Note" which quotes Strange Kitty's tips on test taking, as well as a scintillating interview of the author-illustrator by none other than Uncle Murray. And isn't that worth a passing grade?

A) True
B) False
C) Who cares? Cats are a blight on society and the world would be better off without them.
D) Chickens rule.

Other killer-diller Bad Kitty beginning chapter books include Bad Kitty Drawn to Trouble, Bad Kitty Gets a Bath, Bad Kitty Goes to the Vet, and Bad Kitty School Daze.

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