Ancient Ardor! Cave Boy Crush by Beth Ferry

Neander is a typical lad from back in the Paleolithic.

He is fond of of drawing on his cave's walls. He likes catching fish in the lake.

And he loves his pet rock, Rock.

Or he thought he did--until he caught sight of the girl of his dreams.

She was short.

She was hairy.

She was perfect.

He couldn't stop thinking about Neanne.

Neander doesn't know what to call this powerful feeling that has him all moonstruck and mopey. What is This Thing Called Love? would have been his theme song, except that music hadn't been invented yet.

But Papa and Mama notice Neander's mooney mood.

"You remember?" said Mama.

"Oh!" said Papa. "Crush."

Now Neander knows what this powerful feeling is called, but he doesn't know what to do about it. He picks Neanne a bunch of flowers and crushes them with his club. Neanne thinks he's scary and runs away. Neander finds a beautiful big conch shell and brings it back to her house. He blows a big note and crushes it with a big blow. Affrighted, Neanne flees.  Will this prehistoric Charlie Brown ever win the favor of this little red-haired girl?

Finally Neander chips out an iceberg image of his love, which she reduces to ice cubes! COOL! Now we're talkin'!

Young love can be a crushing experience in Beth Ferry's funny story of archaic infatuation, Caveboy Crush (Abrams Books, 2019). Artist Joseph Kuefler's cute little cave kids show how awkward crushes can be even back in primitive times. Ferry's heartwarming Ice Age love story is a different sort of read for Valentine's Day.

For more heart-y reading, share this one with Beth Ferry's Sealed with a Kiss and Stick and Stone (see review here).