Hold the Garlic! A Vampire Is Coming to Dinner! 10 Rules to Follow by Pamela Jane

YIKES! A VAMPIRE IS COMING TO DINNER!

WHO INVITED HIM?

Nobody is saying, but when a fanged guest-to-be pins his RSVP to the door with a big butcher knife, it's time to pull out the vampire protocol and see what can be done to make sure the, er, proper amenities are in place.

GREET THE VAMPIRE WITH A FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE. VAMPIRES LOVE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

MAKE SURE ALL THE LIGHTS ARE OFF. VAMPIRES LOVE DARKNESS.

There are lots of rules for making a prince of darkness feel comfy, and Pamela Jane's brand-new A Vampire Is Coming to Dinner!: 10 Rules to Follow (Price, Stern, Sloan, 2010) lays out the protocol for keeping a vampire happy, framed in an ornate series of tarnished gold frames. But if this Drac thinks he's in for the kid-gloves welcome, he's in for a rather rude surprise.

Friendly handshake? Well, yeah, if you count a fake hand extended through the mail slot.

Lights off? Dining only by candlelight? Think again. How about a panel of spotlights aimed right into his peepers?

As the reader lifts the flaps beneath each of the ten rules, we see what is really in store for this unwanted and unwonted guest. No garlic? It's time to pull out your favorite cookbook, 1001 Garlic Recipes. No mirrors? How about every room a virtual Hall of Mirrors? A cozy, quiet guest bedroom? How about one with a mariachi band on hand? And if these accommodations don't suit, just throw out the rulebook:

RULE 11: IF THE VAMPIRE CAN'T SLEEP, THROW OUT ALL THE RULES AND HAVE A MONSTER GOOD PARTY!

There's nothing like a rousing finale, and Jane's tale, illustrated in retro-tongue-in-cheek style by Pedro Rodriguez, closes with a last two-page spread which opens to a lively party scene pop-up with the vamp popping the pinata. And after all, it's always better when Dracula satisfies his appetite with those treats! A fun way to spoof the would-be scary vampire character!

Neewolah Redux: Tell Me Another Scary Story by Carl Reiner

Do you remember the scary story I told you about my neighbor, Mr. Neewollah and how when I was a little boy, he once scared me to death?

Well, here's another even scarier story about Mr. Neewollah that may give you nightmares.

If you think it might be too scary, don't turn the page--it's up to YOU!

Going over to Mr. Neewollah's house is a real trip! His day job is to construct masks and costumes for horror movies, and he LOVES his work! He loves scary things so much he even created his own name by spelling HALLOWEEN backwards, and he loves to share his work with anyone brave enough to venture into his spooky basement. Just before Halloween Mr. Neewollah calls with a special invitation to come over for a hamburger and a special viewing of his costume.

"I am working on something really really scary and when I finish it, I think it will be the scariest one I ever made in my whole life,' he chuckled. "I promise you that it will make your eyes pop and your hair stand straight up!"

But when the kid arrives at Neewollah's house, there's no answer at the door. A couple of hamburgers and a ketchup bottle sit on the kitchen table, but there's no one upstairs. Thinking about how Mr. Neewollah once taught him how to use ketchup as fake blood, the kid heads down to the basement workroom. There he comes upon a scene that almost does stand his hair straight up.

Neewollah lies motionless on the floor, a bloody puncture mark on his neck, beside the figure of a vampire with crimson fangs!! But then the kid remembers the fake blood trick and tastes the red substance on the vampire's fangs. Ketchup all right! HA!

"Okay, Mr. Neewollah. You sure scared me a whole lot. You can get up now."

But Mr. Neewollah did not get up.

When I got closer I saw that the ketchup on Mr. Neewollah's forehead that looked like real blood was not ketchup--IT was real blood!

Carl Reiner's latest scary story, Tell Me Another Scary Story...But Not Too Scary!: (HC with CD), (Dove, 2009) brings a new "not too scary" story to elementary readers. This time the kid gets to be the real hero of the tale with a happy--not scary--ending. Nicely illustrated by James Bennett, this story is just right for Halloween parties and sleepovers and comes with its own CD to enjoy by the light of flickering Jack o'-Lanterns.

Reiner's earlier Tell Me a Scary Story...But Not Too Scary! (Byron Preiss Books) is reviewed in my post of October 29, 2008.