Hold the Garlic! A Vampire Is Coming to Dinner! 10 Rules to Follow by Pamela Jane

YIKES! A VAMPIRE IS COMING TO DINNER!

WHO INVITED HIM?

Nobody is saying, but when a fanged guest-to-be pins his RSVP to the door with a big butcher knife, it's time to pull out the vampire protocol and see what can be done to make sure the, er, proper amenities are in place.

GREET THE VAMPIRE WITH A FRIENDLY HANDSHAKE. VAMPIRES LOVE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

MAKE SURE ALL THE LIGHTS ARE OFF. VAMPIRES LOVE DARKNESS.

There are lots of rules for making a prince of darkness feel comfy, and Pamela Jane's brand-new A Vampire Is Coming to Dinner!: 10 Rules to Follow (Price, Stern, Sloan, 2010) lays out the protocol for keeping a vampire happy, framed in an ornate series of tarnished gold frames. But if this Drac thinks he's in for the kid-gloves welcome, he's in for a rather rude surprise.

Friendly handshake? Well, yeah, if you count a fake hand extended through the mail slot.

Lights off? Dining only by candlelight? Think again. How about a panel of spotlights aimed right into his peepers?

As the reader lifts the flaps beneath each of the ten rules, we see what is really in store for this unwanted and unwonted guest. No garlic? It's time to pull out your favorite cookbook, 1001 Garlic Recipes. No mirrors? How about every room a virtual Hall of Mirrors? A cozy, quiet guest bedroom? How about one with a mariachi band on hand? And if these accommodations don't suit, just throw out the rulebook:

RULE 11: IF THE VAMPIRE CAN'T SLEEP, THROW OUT ALL THE RULES AND HAVE A MONSTER GOOD PARTY!

There's nothing like a rousing finale, and Jane's tale, illustrated in retro-tongue-in-cheek style by Pedro Rodriguez, closes with a last two-page spread which opens to a lively party scene pop-up with the vamp popping the pinata. And after all, it's always better when Dracula satisfies his appetite with those treats! A fun way to spoof the would-be scary vampire character!