A Taste for Literature: Library Books Are Not for Eating by Todd Tarpley

THE DAY MS. BRONTE CAME TO SCHOOL, STORY TIME WAS EXTRA COOL.

But she had this unfortunate habit....

COULDN'T BEAT IT....

ONCE SHE READ A BOOK, SHE'D EAT IT.

The class was aghast. They loved their books. They felt they had to repeat that library books are not to eat!

Librarian McSmartly envisioned her book stock shrinking. What was Ms. Bronte thinking? Ms. McSmartly had to preserve her collection! MS. Bronte vowed to end her greedy prediliction. But on her way out, she gobbled a booktruck full of fiction.

Ms. Bronte promised to change her diet. The Lunch Lady dished her up stew and cottage cheese. But that didn't seem to please Ms. Bronte, who scarfed up all the kitchen's recipes.

Maybe big Coach Burley can could her straight--and alter the choice of what she ate. But the coach was more concerned that his soccer field needed mowing, which seemed to set Ms. Bronte's juices flowing! But after she ate Burley's book of soccer plays, she vowed to change her ways.

IT'S NOT THAT I FIND BOOKS SO YUMMY! BUT NOTHING ELSE HERE FILLS MY TUMMY!

Coach Burley offered Ms. Bronte a deal.... Make his overgrown playing field her daily meal!

Author Todd Tarpley's latest school story, Library Books Are Not for Eating! (Doubleday, 2020), fits right on the menu with last year's hit gustatory yarn, We Don't Eat Our Classmates by Ryan T. Higgins. (See my review here). Author Todd Tarpley is the past master of wordplay, rhymes, and comic plots, and Tom Booth's, er, tasteful illustrations make this one a humorous introduction for that first classroom lecture on library book care. Other hit books by Todd Tarpley are Beep! Beep! Go to Sleep! Naughty Ninja Takes a Bath, Three Grumpy Trucks, and his classic, Ten Tiny Toes.

First-Day Strategies: How to Get Your Teacher Ready by Jean Reagan

Teachers get first-day jitters, too!

You're ready for the first day of school.

But what about your teacher?

It's true. After all, there's only one teacher and lots of kids in her classroom.

YOU can hide behind your new notebook or the kid with big hair in front of you, but you can bet everyone is staring at your teacher!

With August comes an epidemic of school-days anxiety, and it may be time to revisit author Jean Reagan's and illustrator Lee Wildish's classic how-to manual for kids, How to Get Your Teacher Ready (How To...relationships) (Alfred A. Knopf. 2017) that should help banish butterflies in the tummy for teachers and students alike.

A great big smile is always a good beginning. But first things first....

Whisper, "I know where the bathroom is if you ever need to know."

Give your teacher a few hint or two about getting in good with the lunch ladies that'll encourage generous helpings.

Give her something special, but definitely not...
An ice sculpture for her desk...Or an already opened box of chocolates!

It's going to be a long year. To give the teacher something to look forward to, tell her about the good times to come--like Field Day (bring sunscreen), Zoo Day (don't forget the naked mole rats), and even the Last Day of School (with spontaneous hugs).

Artist Lee Wildish creates a classroom of cheerful moppets to keep the new teacher busy from the first day of school and right on through the year. Kids with first-day worries will be cheered by this classic by Jean Reagan, author of How to Babysit a Grandpa (How To...relationships) and How to Babysit a Grandma (How To...relationships).

Share this one with Julie Danneberg's best-selling tale of teacher anxieties, First Day Jitters (Mrs. Hartwell's Classroom Adventures) and the favorite Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten.

Back to School: Steve, Raised by Wolves by Jared Chapman

STEVE WAS RAISED BY WOLVES.

THEN, ONE DAY, MOTHER WOLF WALKED HIM THROUGH THE WOODS...

AND TO THE... BUS STOP.

"STEVE," SAID HIS MOM, "I KNOW YOU'RE ANXIOUS ABOUT GOING TO SCHOOL. IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO GET ALONG WITH HUMANS, BUT JUST BE YOURSELF.

I KNOW YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT DAY."

Mama Wolf could have been a little more specific in her advice. Steve's experience with other humans has been mostly scaring campers with his authentic wolf growls, so when the obviously intimidated teacher calls the roll, Steve answers with his best "HOOOOOOWWWWLLLLL!"

Enjoying the attention, Steve shows off a little, shredding banners and posters welcoming the kids back to school. He pounces on a few of his classmates, and (I am sorry to report) scent-marks the playground slide!

In the cafeteria he opens the lunch bag his mom had lovingly packed and pulls out his lunch--a dead bird, feathers and all. Needless to say, no one enjoyed sitting at Steve's table. His teacher sends him home with a note:

Mrs. Wolf,
Steve had a hard time staying out of trouble today.
--Mrs. Meadows

Mrs. Wolf was patient.

"I LOVE THAT YOU ARE BEING YOURSELF," SAID MRS. WOLF.

"I KNOW YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO MAKE THIS WORK."

The next morning when Steve bounds into his classroom, he finds everyone in a tizzy. Reggie, the classroom pet hamster, is missing! The kids are frantically looking under cabinets and behind equipment. Some of them are near tears.

But then, Steve's wolf training comes into play. He sniffs around the room and gets a whiff of hamster. Following the scent he lopes down the hall to the cafeteria and follows his keen nose right to the fridge. And inside is Reggie, cheerfully chomping on a stalk of the lunch ladies' celery.

AND HE LOOKED DELICIOUS!

But this time Steve's human instincts are beginning to kick in, and he senses that eating their pet is not going to work with his classmates. The kids all cheer for Steve. He's their new class hero! They all want to sit with him at lunch, where fortunately, they see that his mom has discretely packed his dead bird this time between two slices of bread!

In his forthcoming, Steve, Raised by Wolves (Little, Brown and Company, 2015 Jared Chapman's off-beat sense of humor documents the familiar story of the kid who doesn't quite seem to get the school thing at first. After all, Steve was raised in a cave. But Steve seems on his way to settling in with his new pack and he proudly delivers another note to his mom when he gets off the bus that afternoon.

Mrs. Wolf,
Steve had a GREAT DAY!
--Mrs. Meadows

Every child comes to school out of a unique family culture and has to find a way to be himself or herself in the school setting, and kids will howl with self-conscious glee at Steve's faux pas on his first day.