Are We There Yet?: The Long Haul (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) by Jeff Kinney

The last thing I need is to turn into some kind of were-pig, because that could really mess up my dating life.

Mom took a look at my finger, and I could tell she was a little worried. She tried to find an emergency-care place on the GPS, but there was nothing in a fifty-mile radius. But she DID find a VETERINARIAN'S office five minutes up the road. A few minutes later we pulled into the parking lot.

A minute later Mom came back with a clipboard and some paperwork to fill out. All I can say is, I hope this stuff doesn't get filed on my permanent record. because if it comes up later in life, it could be embarrassing.

EMERGENCY PET CARE
Patient Registration

Pet's name: "Greg"
Owner's name: Susan Heffley
Species: Human
Last vaccination: January 12
History of worms? X Yes* (*as a toddler)
Last rabies shot: N/A
Spayed/Neutered? XNo

You'd think I'd get some priority as a human, but I got put behind a gerbil that swallowed a cigarette and a cat with its face stuck in a yogurt container.

Mom has been spending way too much time reading Family Frolic Magazine, and when school's out there's no deterring her plan for a fun-filled family road trip. She's got it all planned, but when the Heffleys stop at a roadside FUN FAIR, toddler Manny wins a piglet, and when the prize piglet tries to escape through the sun roof while Dad is driving and handing at hostile client from work, Greg grabs the pig and gets bitten. And that's the good part of the trip.

As only he can tell it, Jeff Kinney's latest in his best-selling Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (Amulet Books, 2014) may be the best Heffley saga yet. Once more the hapless middle child Greg plays straight man to one of the funniest family series of all of literature. (In less than a week, it's already #1 on Amazon's sales of all books!) Car breakdowns, the world's sleaziest motel, a piglet who figures out how to raid the mini-bar, and a series of perfectly normal mishaps take the family on the funniest car trip ever, and when the Heffleys finally limp home, towed by a couple of friendly, non-English speaking hombres, the car's leaking radiator patched together with glue and duct tape, Mom and Dad's credit cards, phones, and clothes supposedly stolen from their locker at Water World, and a pet piglet they can't seem to give away, it looks like home-sweet-home for the Heffleys for a long time.

Trust me, this one is as drop-dead funny as the earlier books, funny enough to make me laugh out loud, in my parka, in my chilly garage, late at night, into my second hour on an exercise bike! Although its target 'tweener audience will undoubtedly devour this one in one sitting, the humor in Kinney's artfully clever stick cartoons and this hilarious but somehow believable tale will tickle the ribs of anyone, kid, parent, or grandparent who has ever gone on an "eventful" family car trip.

You Can't Take It With You! Peppa Pig and the Great Vacation by Neville Astley

PEPPA PIG AND GEORGE WERE PACKING TO GO ON VACATION.

"YOU CAN'T BRING EVERYTHING!" SAYS PAPA.

But Peppa and little brother George insist that they must have all their toys. Pappa Pig firmly tells them they can only bring their very favorites, and Peppa picks a Teddy and George chooses his "dino-saw."

But then Peppa thinks about her goldfish Goldie. Papa says definitely NOT, for all the right reasons, and Grandpa and Granny agree to Goldy-sit for the duration with plenty of tender loving care.

Mollified, Peppa and George climb into the back seat, and the Pigs are off to vacationland. After a few "Are we there yets?," they arrive at their cottage near the seashore and hit the outdoor pool for plenty of Pig family splashing.

As the days go by, they shop, go out to eat, have a picnic and take a scenic nature walk, and of course enjoy sand castles, splashing in the waves, and wading in the tidal pools. George and Peppa are having the time of their lives, except ... the fishies in the tidal pools remind Peppa of Goldie, alone at home in  a lonely little fishbowl.  How sad is that?

Peppa has to call Granpa and Granny Pig right away to check on Goldie.  Reassured that he's swimming happily, she still feels that she has to do something to let him know she misses him. Momma and Peppa make a secret visit to the post office, and as soon as they arrive back home, the Postman delivers a postcard addressed to Goldie from Peppa.

"GOLDIE, YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

Peppa Pig, the perky protagonist of the popular television series, shares all the fun of a summer seaside holiday in her latest, Peppa Pig and the Great Vacation (Candlewick Press, 2014) The illustrations, stylized, cartoon abstractions retain few porcine features, except the snout, and show their characters doing all the things kids do on a family beach trip.  Other titles in this popular and prolific preschool spinoff series include Peppa Pig and the Perfect Day, Peppa Pig and the Muddy Puddles, and Peppa Pig and the Vegetable Garden. (Read review here).

Hula Holiday: Froggy Goes to Hawaii by Jonathan London

"FROGGGGY!" YELLED HIS FATHER.

"WHA-A-A-T?"

"UP AND AT 'EM! TODAY IS THE DAY WE'RE GOING ON VACATION."

"YIPPEE!" CRIED FROGGY, AND HE SANG, "WE'RE GOING ON VACATION.

"WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII!"

The effervescent Froggy and his family are off for a fun-filled week in Hawaii, and they waste no time getting on the tourist trail when they arrive. Dad has a well-worn word of wisdom for Froggy as they land:

"DON'T ACT LIKE A NINCOMPOOP!"

BUT WHEN THEY GOT TO HAWAII, FROGGY WENT BANANAS!

For a hyper-kinetic character like Froggy, it's a suitably whirlwind tour of near disasters at all the scenic sites--a bamboo forest, the rim of a volcano and a real lava field, a waterfall, a hula lesson complete with grass skirts all around, a boat trip to see giant sea turtles, and at last a wiki wiki trip to Waikiki, where Froggy winds up getting more than his feet wet:

THE NEXT DAY HE SURFED, RIDING HIS DAD'S SHOULDERS WITH HIS HANDS OVER DAD'S EYES.

"WIPEOOOOUT!"

As usual, it's a frenetic fun-filled event when Froggy hits Hawaii, concluding on the last day with a rescue at sea for the stranded Froggy and his long-suffering dad. The ebullient Froggy is fresh as a daisy, but his too-pooped-to-pop papa groans...

"WHEN WE GET BACK HOME, I NEED A VACATION!"

Froggy fans will love the slapstick silliness of Froggy's twentieth adventure, Jonathan London's Froggy Goes to Hawaii (Viking, 2011), ably illustrated as always by Frank Remkicwicz. Pair this one with that other summertime treat, Froggy Goes to Camp, for school's-out storytime fun in the sun.