Making It in Middle School: The Invisible Rules of the Zoe Lama by Tish Cohen

When Zoe Monday Costello, as a diminutive six-year-old, confronted the school bully on the top of the slide, her teacher observed that she had the enlightenment of the Dalai Lama. Since then, she's been Zoe Lama, guru of wisdom for making it in school, never more needed than when she and her friends hit seventh grade. With her "unwritten" (invisible) rules for social salvation, she's the go-to girl in her class. It's not that Zoe has a messiah complex: she clings to her Lama status for good reason. As she secretly confides,

Being the knower-of-all-unwritten rules automatically provides me with an untouchable reputation--a happy side effect I'm thankful for every single day. As long as The Zoë Lama reigns, my status is safe. The day my reign ends is the day my people will drop the peace and harmony crap and eat me alive.

And peace and harmony reign for Zoe at first: she has two BFIS (Best Friends in School), which according to the IR (invisible rules) are her limit; she has a cute boy (Riley) who's on the brink of asking her to the Snow Ball, (The Big Dance) and she has an almost foolproof plan to make her math teacher (The Handsome Mr. Lindsay) her mother's boyfriend and eventually her wonderful stepdad.

On the other hand, her grandma's mind is quickly going south, and more than once Zoe has to escort her home quickly when she arrives in pink footed pajamas to pick her up at school. Her mom seems to be on the brink of putting Grandma into an institution (Shady Gardens), represented by a pushy sales rep (Jason) who keeps wrangling invitations to a home-cooked dinner.

Then there is the case of the new girl (Maisie.) Transferring across town, Maisie comes with the reputation of a relationship breaker, and Zoe takes her on as a client to master the Invisible Rules. But following the Rules isn't working out for Maisie, who gets the shaft from Briana, whom Zoe set up to become Maisie's BFIS, and when Zoe assigns her to write an essay about her favorite boy, her response reveals that Maisie has an inexplicable and totally unacceptable crush on the Most Vile Boy in School ("Smartin" Granitestein).

Zoe knows her reign as The Zoe Lama is over when Briana finds the original of Maisie's essay where Zoe forgetfully left it in the library copy machine and spreads it around the school like snowflakes in January. To save Maisie from certain social ostracism, Zoe pretends that she is the author of the gushy epistle. Then trying to fake an injury to arrange for The Handsome Mr. Lindsay to meet her mother, Zoe actually breaks her arm. And finally, Grandma sets the house on fire when she leaves the newspaper on the stove, and the pushy Jason is on his way with the Shady Gardens application before the ashes are cold. Things are suddenly totally out of Zoe's control for the first time, and Zoe the guru-girl is forced to fall back on Invisible Rule #10:

Sometimes the Best Way to Be a Friend is to just Let People Be Themselves.

The Invisible Rules of the Zoe Lama introduces a frank and funny heroine who believes it's her mission to help everyone make it through middle school. But when she finds herself the one who needs help, she learns that her former clients have some invisible rules of their own to see her through it all.