A Rose by Any Other Name...: Quit Calling Me A MONSTER! by Jory John

JUST... STOP IT!

RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

He's over it! Scraggly arms akimbo and beady little eyes glowing, snaggly fangs in full view, this guy has had it up to here.

Just because he's covered with shaggy, purplish hair, has horns, some sorta sinister long claws and a scary, smirky smile that glows in the dark... how dare they call him a Monster?

Call a guy a monster, and everybody sees a monster when they look at him. It's stereotyping, that's what it is.

Sure, he prefers to conceal himself in closets. Yeah, he does a bit of howling now and again. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get his feelings hurt when people call him names!

"MOMMY!" YOU HOLLER, "SAVE ME FROM THAT ...

MONSTER!"

Can't a guy get some groceries? Can't a guy just try to read the nutrition label on the back of the box without being profiled? And can't a guy get few winks of shuteye under your bed? Have you ever heard the icky noises YOU make when you sleep?

And then there's the matter of manners! Why can't everyone else be polite?

YOU COULD LEARN SOMETHING FROM ME. I'M A MONSTER WITH EXCELLENT MANNERS.

UM..I DON'T MEAN... MONSTER, ACTUALLY....

OKAY, I'M... UM... SIGH... TECHNICALLY A MONSTER....

MY NAME IS FLOYD PETERSON.

And after all, who could be seriously scared of a guy named Floyd Peterson? (Sorry, real Floyd Petersons, but your name isn't scary!) In Jory John's jolly monster story, Quit Calling Me a Monster! (Random House, 2016), the name of the game IS the name. After all, when you get to know a guy, you know, like, his name and where he's coming from, he doesn't seem so bad. Author Jory John lets his semi-scary, dill-pickle-shaped protagonist speak for himself in a comic monster story just in time for the scary season. Jory John draws on the dean of silly monsters, artist Bob Shea, for the perfect monster with an image problem in a not-so creepy-critter tale that will give young readers some second-thoughts about name-calling.

For a double monster romp, pair this one with Jory John's and Bob Shea's I Will Chomp You! (read my earlier review here).