The Dark Lord of the School Cellar: The Custodian from the Black Lagoon by Mike Thaler

Somewhere in the dark caverns beneath our school lurks the custodian.

His name is Fester Smudge.

Schoolkids have long wondered about their school custodians. Seldom seen but sometimes heard opening mysterious doors with huge, jangling rings of keys, doors opening onto mysterious bins, buckets, stairs, and worrisome smells, they make their rumbling way through halls, mostly unseen. What do they know? What do they do? Hubie wonders.

I've never seen him because he waits until everyone's gone home before he emerges. He knows all the secret passages and tunnels below the school--just like the Phantom of the Opera.

Older kids whisper rumors of a smoldering fiery dragon, bizarre gurgling noises, and strange music coming from down there in the nether regions of the school. Old stories have been passed down over the years, like the time Fester is said to have electrocuted a visiting convocation speaker with a hot microphone. Freddie says you can tell he's coming by the swarm of flies that accompany him everywhere. Only one thing is certain:

He's trained to make the school boiling hot all summer... and freezing cold all winter.

And then one day it happens! Hubie has a problem opening his locker. And he comes face to face with the feared Fester Smudge, jangling keyrings and all. But all's well that ends with an opened locker, and Hubie is soon his way to class before the bell rings, in Mike Thaler's Custodian From The Black Lagoon (Scholastic/Cartwheel Books). It seems that the fearsome Fester is great guy who polishes his locker handle and wishes Hubie a good day. Whew!

Mike Thaler has a lot of fun with schoolkid folklore about the dreaded deeps* of the school in this tale of the gullible Hubie, The Principal from the Black Lagoon, illustrated in the signature style by cartoonist Jared Lee, who fills the pages with all the fearful and slithery legends beloved of easily duped pupils. For more comic stories of Black Lagoon Elementary, pair this one with Thaler's The Principal from the Black Lagoon.

*Editor's Note: Thaler only exaggerates somewhat. I once asked an experienced janitor what was down in those service tunnels under the school, and he said, "Believe me, you don't want to know!"