YAR! YERG Sammy the Seasick Pirate by Janelle Spirnger-Willms

SAMMY WANTED NOTHING MORE IN THE WORLD THAN TO BE A PIRATE CAPTAIN WHEN HE GREW UP.

Sammy made a list of the skills he would need and his pirate Papa agreed to teach him all of them. Papa's lessons are no crip course. To master the undeniable need to swim, Papa tosses him off the ship and into the sea. Sammy rises to the occasion and to the surface and splashes to shore!

Swimming--CHECK!

Sammy substitutes archery for swordplay and splits all of Papa's apples right down the center. Mama is mad about the mess, giving Sammy a chance to check swabbing decks off his list. In jig time he finds buried golden coins and passes the buried-treasure test by sinking them secretly into the sand again. Sammy passes his treasure map test.

It's time for the final seafarers' exam: sailing the ship, from hoisting sail, map-reading, and steering from the helm.

EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL. UNTIL...

A wild and windy storm blew up.

HIS STOMACH WENT SWISH! THEN SLOSH!

THEN ... BLEEAHH!

Papa Pirate tried all the remedies for seasickness in his list, all followed by a sickening. |. . .

"BLEEAHH!"

It seems that Sammy's hopes of a swashbuckling life's work are sunk. Is there no way he can be a successful corsair without sailing the (BLEEAHH!) bounding seas?

But where there's a will, there is a way to find treasure without setting foot on shipboard, in Janelle Springer-Willms' newest, Sammy the Seasick Pirate (Reycraft Books, 2021).

Aye, Me Hearties, there's gold in them there sands and loot to be harvested from shipwrecks if a bright lad is willing to work on shore, in Springer-Wilms' clever new look at a dryland desperado. An afterword to Springer-Willms' story reveals that there was indeed a famous Barbadoes pirate, Sam Hall Lord, who made a fortune from looting beached privateer shipwrecks.

Illustrated boldly with plenty of action on each page by artist Damien Jones, this entertaining new picture book manages to salvage its queasy protagonist from a life of piracy, with an alternate career as an on-shore entrepreneur. Yo Ho Ho and a pocketful of gold!

Eat It And Be A Pirate, Too! Pirate Stew by Neil Gaiman

The night my mum and dad went out, I said, "We won't be babysat."

They said, "You must not grump or pout!

We're going out

and that is that!

Say hello to your babysitter!"

The brother and sister are not pleased to see their parents all decked out for a Saturday date night, but any further argument is quashed when they see their babysitter.

Right leg a peg, left arm a hook;

He grinned and said, "My card."

It read...

LONG JOHN McRON, SHIP'S COOK.

A cursory inventory of the family's fridge fails to meet Long John's approval, and, joined by a motley crew of assistants, Long John declares that nothing will do but that they make Pirate Stew.

"Pirate stew, pirate stew!

Eat it and you'll be a pirate, too!

All the hearty buccaneers add something to the pot--seeds from the parrot, a slice of plank that was walked, doubloons and haddock, leeks and limes and mermaids tears, all well stirred with a scimitar, and soon the crew and cook dip the steaming stew out into bowls for the maties. They all chow down, a merry crew. But the two kids eschew the magical brew. The brother takes a pass, and his sister nods, "Me, too."

But the crew is still peckish, so Long John McRon raises sails and they fly through the air freely toward a downtown donut shop. The owner says she's closing down for the night, but McRon and his marauders won't take no for an answer.

"Hand over your donuts, hearties. We'll have a donut party!"

And after the crew down their donuts, Long John drops them off at the pub for some grog and rum, and with the weary kids in tow Long Jon McRon flies right back home, just in time to make the kids' curfew. Their parents find them sadly sitting on the floor, surrounded by pirate detritis, crumbs, and an almost empty donut box. And beside them on the counter are the kids' two bowls of Pirate Stew, seemingly still steaming--and their parents, whose dinner was sadly lacking, can't resist some late-night snacking.

And so, my lads and lassies, call that a happy ending or a bad,

From that day on, a Pirate Mom and Dad was what these landlubbers had!

The Newbery Award-winning Neil Gaiman can be counted upon to come up with a fantastical story, told in jolly rhyme, and this one, Pirate Stew (Quill Tree Books, 2020), with its undertones of Peter Pan-style pirates, is certainly an offbeat story. Gaiman's wordsmithery is evident in his rhyming text with its unexpected turns, and illustrator Chris Riddell, winner of the Greenaway Medal, the British version of our Caldecott Award for picture book artistry, makes the most of Gaiman's imaginative setting and gloriously quirky characters in his fanciful drawings. Says Booklist, "Highly enjoyable, with Gaiman’s silly, singsong verses the perfect ingredient for a raucous read-aloud. Riddell’s predictably fabulous illustrations are ablaze with color and detail."

Pirate Diary--The Diary of Jake Carpenter, Cabin Boy by Richard Platt

For as long as I can remember, I have lived in the village of Holyoak, North Carolina. My life is to change, for I am to go to sea. My father wants me to study medicine, but believes I should see more of the world first. Thus, I am to become a SAILOR, at least for a while.

His plan is that I should join his brother Will, who is already a a seaman. Will told me of sea monsters, mermaids, and islands of ice. He has seen hurricanes and escaped from pirates. And I am to see it all for MYSELF!

And see it all he does, and much more, does Jake, much more!

To begin, Jake and Will rise with the sun, only to learn that their ship, the Sally Ann, has raised anchor and sailed before sunrise, leaving Jake and Will stranded.

There is only one ship in port needing seaman, The Greyhound, a sorry sight, but the only choice, and they sign up to sail with the gnarly old Capt. Nick. Immediately, Jack is put to work mopping the decks, for Will tells him that if the boards get dry the ship will leak and sink right away. Jake is already homesick for his cows and chickens, but he is soon pressed in the tasks of loading boxes and barrels into the hold and trying to learn the names of the sails and parts of the ship. He is befriended by the rather wretched Cook's Boy, who promised to keep Jake well fed on scraps in return for Jake's teaching him his letters.

This seemed like a good deal at the time, but after my first meal, my mind was changed. I had food, but I could not tell what it was and ate little.

And Jake's first voyage gets only worse as time goes by. Captain Nick's vessel is an outlaw ship, unwelcome at any port because he is known to sail before dawn to avoid paying fees, and he is a cruel master, lashing his men for the most minor offenses.

When Jake lets a bucket fall into the sea, Captain Nick orders him lashed, and when Will offers to take the lashes himself, the enraged captain order twice as many lashes for Will and leaves him adrift in a leaky boat. Terrified, Jake watches his uncle rapidly disappear in the Greyhound's wake.

But Jake's plight soon worsens when the ship is boarded by true pirates. The Greyhound's crew offer no resistance, believing that being the pirate's captain can be no worse than Captain Nick and soon all are bound over to the service of the pirate band headed by the notorious Henry Jennings. Seaman Jake finds himself now the pirate captain's cabin boy, fearful of never seeing his home and father again.

And in truth Jake Carpenter will learn much, much more of the life of real pirates of the Caribbean before he sees Holyoak, North Carolina again, in Richard Platt's colorful action thriller for middle readers, Pirate Diary: The Journal of Jake Carpenter, Cabin Boy (Historical Diaries) (Candlewick Press). There is plenty of pirate lore and lingo, with cannon-firing, cutlass-welding battles, raging hurricanes, treasure-burying, and more than enough of hanged pirates dangling from gibbets in the port of Charleston for any pirate fan before Jake Carpenter at last sets a happy foot on terra firma in South Carolina.

 Along with the colorful and picaresque pen-and-ink period drawings of Chris Riddell, Platt's well-researched tale of privateers and buccaneers is an absorbing read for adventure-loving middle graders, and the author's extensive appendix which includes a glossary of seafaring and piracy terms, a history of piracy from the Vikings to Somali pirates, and a bibliography of sources. This book is an ideal preliminary read before taking on the Robert Louis Stevenson's classic, Treasure Island. (Dover Thrift Editions) And for those readers whose tastes run to historical side of pirate adventures, author Platt has three other such historical novelettes--Egyptian Diary: The Journal of Nakht (Historical Diaries), Roman Diary: The Journal of Iliona, A Young Slave (Historical Diaries), and Castle Diary: The Journal of Tobias Burgess

Mateys! The Pirate Tree by Brigita Orel

Sam's ship may look like an old tree, but with a sheet for a sail and a rope for the anchor, she is The Captain.

But one day someone else appears and asks permission to come aboard.

Sam hoists the sheet up over a branch and glares.

"I don't know you. You're not from my street.

Beware, here come pirates! ARRRR!" Sam yells.

The boy looks sad, but he persists.

"I sailed on a ship. I can tell you about it."

Sam is intrigued and invites him to come aboard ship.

Together they are not strangers, but shipmates who sail to treasure islands, weather wild storms, and fight off pirates, and when Dad the Cook calls from the galley, they lower the anchor and go together to the mess cabin. And the tree waits, hoping for more sailing adventures.

In Brigitta Orgel's The Pirate Tree (Lantana Publishing Company, 2019), a simple story of an unexpected friendship shared is set forth in the lovely artwork of Jennie Poh, whose illustrations extend the story beyond its narration of imaginative play to a deeper theme of shared experiences and borders crossed and far seas sailed. School Library Journal says, "Readers will be rooting for the two, hopeful that they will conquer all obstacles, both imaginary and realistic."

Logo-Pilferers Beware! The Word Pirates by Susan Cooper

It was early morning on the pirate ship.

"W O R D S!"

roared Captain Rottingbones.

"BRING ME FRESH WORDS! I NEED BREAKFAST!"

The Pirate King is ravening, and his crew releases their logo-hunting birds to ravage the shore-dwellers morning newspapers and steal author's manuscripts right from their typewriters, to feed their prey of fresh words to the Captain and crew.

Captain Rottingbones grabs and gobbles down the biggest word--antidisestablishmentarianism--for himself, while his crew fill their cereal bowls with bites like fib and pop and zip that stay crunchy in milk.

But Rottingbones' big maw is never filled. He cruises the oceans of the world, pillaging books and pulling words right out of the storytellers' mouths.

Still, Captain Rottingbones' logo-lust only grows more insatiable.

He had learned of a Word Wizard, a zany New Zealander, whose stories would be extra delicious.

He licks his large lips as he orders his mateys to set the sails for the South Seas, where the Word Wizard flourishes and delicious words flow fast from her lips and perfect from her pen.

And Rottingbones releases his voracious Bumblebirds to peel her tasty word morsels right from her pages. The story circle kids are first bemused, then confused, perplexed and then VEXED.

The Wizard was furious. So were the children.

"GIVE US BACK OUR WORDS!" the children yelled.

"WORDS ARE PRECIOUS!" the Wizard cried.

The Pirate Captain draws his cutlass. This is WAR. But the Word Wizard knows the pen is mightier than the sword, and she peppers the pirates with a scattering of Fi, Fie, Fos, a rapid fire of Rabbit Holes, and a barrage of Wild Rumpuses. And the story stealers are bested, their brains all a-buzz with stories!

What amazing things words could do if you didn't eat them!

And with their treasure trunk loaded with the seeds of literacy, the pirate ship sets sail, the world now safe for letters and syllables (and even Latin roots) and imagination blooms with all the words that are and can yet be, safe in books...

Like this one .

Words are the winners in this collaboration of superstars, multi-Newbery-winning author Susan Cooper (for The Dark Is Rising series) and noted author-illustrator Steven Kellogg, The Word Pirates (Neal Porter/Holiday House, 2019). Artist Steven Kellogg's warm and comic watercolor illustrations wash over this tale and welcome Cooper's apt logophilia, flowing through this one with obvious love for her craft. A book which ends with pirates learning their letters and the youngest picking up his pen to write, "Once upon a time..." is a welcome event. School Library Journal says, "Cooper's words are deliciously funny, and Kellogg'c comical style perfect complements Cooper's flair."

Yo HO HO! If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate To Meet Santa... DON'T by Elise Parsley

If your dad says you're going to meet Santa, he means the bearded guy with the red suit with the bag full of treasures.

He doesn't mean that pirate guy!

When her dad takes her to meet Santa Claus, the last thing Magnolia dreams of doing is to shiver Santa's timbers. After all, he's the Christmas saint that kids await--good kids, that is, kids who are NOT on the NAUGHTY LIST. But Magnolia has a tendency toward, shall we say, gullibility? And when she meets a bearded guy in a red suit who wants to join the waiting tots, she decides to give him a cut in line.

Of course she does!

Dad tries to warn Maggie that pirates are pretty much ALL on Santa's naughty list, but she cross-her-heart promises she want let the pirate pillage or plunder at Santa's meet and greet. In fact, she turns down the elves who offer candy canes and warns the waiting kids of ...

TOOTH ROT!

But this crusty old pirate has other ideas. He sings bawdy buccaneer songs instead of "Jingle Bells" to the kiddies. He bellows at the timid tots who can't come up with a smile for the photo-elf's camera. Like Santa's dastardly doppleganger, he totally takes over St. Nick's wheelhouse.

And before you know it, Santa Claus will be walking the plank.

Yes, Santa takes a short walk on a short plank right into the mall fountain, but the pirate gets his comeuppance when he is forced to let the horde of sticky, cranky kids who missed Santa sit on his lap.  Will Magnolia ever learn to curb her impetuous urges?  In Elise Parsley's latest in series, If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate to Meet Santa, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!) (Little, Brown and Company, 2018),  bossy Magnolia never seems to learn, and in artist Parsley's riotous illustrations, there are plenty of pirate sight gags to keep kids merry in this Christmas season. Says School Library Journal, "You don't need to be a pirate aficionado to enjoy this outrageously naughty addition to the holiday shelves."

Others in this top-selling series are If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!), and If You Ever Want to Bring a Piano to the Beach, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!). (Read all reviews here.)

Turf Battle in the Fish Tank: Prince and Pirate by Charlotte Gannufson

Two fishbowls reside, side by side, in pescatory peace, each with a scaly resident who is master of all he surveys.

Prince ruled a scaly kingdom. He admired his majestic castle and his carriage.

Pirate ruled his small, round sea. He sailed his schooner and guarded his treasure.

Prince enjoyed his divine right to rule. Pirate protected his trove as a privileged privateer.

And then it appears that the powers that be have decided to ditch the dual domains. Pirate and Prince find themselves summarily netted, dumped with a plop, and suddenly swimming in a new watery realm--a large aquarium that should have provided ample provinces for both fish.

But--NO! Apparently there is not enough room for both of them in this tank!

A fishy feud ensues.

"Halt, Peasant! You trespass!" roared Prince.

"Avast, Ye scurvy Sea Slug!" Pirate retorts.

The two fish push pebbles to make a border down the center of their space. It's THE WALL! They dare each other to put so much as a fin over the fence.

"You miserable mollusk!" shouts Prince scornfully.

"Barnacled Bloomers!" bellows Pirate bellicosely.

It's a showdown at the Okay Aquarium.

But... Wait! What this? Another scaly resident is dropped into the tank. It's a frightened little dogfish, who peers fearfully out of his little kennel, frightened by his pugnacious neighbors. His little tail fins are all a-tremble.

Awwwww! Poor little finny fellow! Pirate and Prince are suddenly protective of their new little co-resident and promptly put their pebbles to work to play fetch with their new pet.

It's time for an underwater truce, in Charlotte Gannufson's finny and funny newest, Prince and Pirate (G. P. Putnam's Sons, 2017).  Gannufson's proffers the snappy dialogue between Prince, that paragon of the King's English, and Pirate, the boisterous buccaneer, making for some read-aloud fun, while the noted comic artist Mike Lowery provides the comic contrast between the rivals. All's quiet on the aquarium front as Gannufson gives her fishy foes a common cause to be kind. As Booklist puts it, "At first glance, this is pure silliness, but a tidy lesson about sharing will rise to the surface."