You Can't Believe Everything You Read! If You Ever Want to Bring A Circus to the Library, DON'T! by Elise Parsley

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING AT THE LIBRARY!

You can't believe everything you read, even a sign at the library.

But Magnolia is a girl with a thing for BIG IDEAS, and when she sees that summer reading festival sign, she suddenly sees herself as a circus impressario. Get ready, laddies and lassies, all you little library patrons. Cue the circus march! It's ...

MAGNOLIA'S CIRCUS--THE GREATEST SHOW YOU'VE NEVER SEEN!

Magnolia mounts the high wire for a twirl and a leap... and a fall....

The crowd gasps, but our Maggie bounces up, and with a wave of her hand, announces firmly...

You can do anything in the library--except CLAP!

Send in the CLOWNS! Magnolia takes a pie in the face with elan! But she shushes her audience.

You can do anything in the library--except CLAP and CHEER!

Some other traditional circus activities run into conflict with the library staff. Concessions, for example. The crowd is rowdy and especially messy with the popcorn and peanuts.

Magnolia tries to wow the crowd into silence with her piece de resistance--the human cannonball act!

The crowd waits, hushed, as the countdown continues: 5-4-3-2-1-??

Just so you know, if your cannon is a dud, you'll hear...

BOOOOOO!

By now, Magnolia's circus crowd is out of control. She quickly looks around for something to distract them before they riot!  She's pretty sure you can do anything in the library except clap, cheer, and RIOT!

She spots a booktruck nearby, loaded for shelving, and grabs a likely-looking book and...

Magnolia starts to read aloud.

The rapt kids are seemingly enchanted. Suspense builds as the three goats gruff, one by one, trip-trap across the bridge. Magnolia has the kids in the palm of her hand-- until there is a sudden misfire of her cannon....

BOOOOOMBA!

A misfiring cannon can make a mess of your neighborhood library, in Elise Parsley's latest in her Magnolia Says Don't series, If You Ever Want to Bring a Circus to the Library, Don't! (Little, Brown and Company, 2017).  Don't believe everything you read is Magnolia's new mantra, as she carefully crafts a new library poster--YOU CAN READ A NICE, QUIET BOOK IN THE LIBRARY.

Elise Parsley's third tall tale of what NOT to do takes advantage of her penchant for conceiving a character capable of instantly concocting capricious and absurd adventures, as she did in her top-selling If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't! and If You Ever Want to Bring a Piano to the Beach, Don't! (see reviews here). Magnolia is a girl who apparently always learns the hard way, and Parsley's wild digital illustrations and near disasters scenes are kid-pleasing slapstick action and visual jokes. This one will be popular for Library Week readalouds.

Yo HO HO! If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate To Meet Santa... DON'T by Elise Parsley

If your dad says you're going to meet Santa, he means the bearded guy with the red suit with the bag full of treasures.

He doesn't mean that pirate guy!

When her dad takes her to meet Santa Claus, the last thing Magnolia dreams of doing is to shiver Santa's timbers. After all, he's the Christmas saint that kids await--good kids, that is, kids who are NOT on the NAUGHTY LIST. But Magnolia has a tendency toward, shall we say, gullibility? And when she meets a bearded guy in a red suit who wants to join the waiting tots, she decides to give him a cut in line.

Of course she does!

Dad tries to warn Maggie that pirates are pretty much ALL on Santa's naughty list, but she cross-her-heart promises she want let the pirate pillage or plunder at Santa's meet and greet. In fact, she turns down the elves who offer candy canes and warns the waiting kids of ...

TOOTH ROT!

But this crusty old pirate has other ideas. He sings bawdy buccaneer songs instead of "Jingle Bells" to the kiddies. He bellows at the timid tots who can't come up with a smile for the photo-elf's camera. Like Santa's dastardly doppleganger, he totally takes over St. Nick's wheelhouse.

And before you know it, Santa Claus will be walking the plank.

Yes, Santa takes a short walk on a short plank right into the mall fountain, but the pirate gets his comeuppance when he is forced to let the horde of sticky, cranky kids who missed Santa sit on his lap.  Will Magnolia ever learn to curb her impetuous urges?  In Elise Parsley's latest in series, If You Ever Want to Bring a Pirate to Meet Santa, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!) (Little, Brown and Company, 2018),  bossy Magnolia never seems to learn, and in artist Parsley's riotous illustrations, there are plenty of pirate sight gags to keep kids merry in this Christmas season. Says School Library Journal, "You don't need to be a pirate aficionado to enjoy this outrageously naughty addition to the holiday shelves."

Others in this top-selling series are If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!), and If You Ever Want to Bring a Piano to the Beach, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!). (Read all reviews here.)

Don't Say I Didn't Warn You! If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, DON'T! by Elise Parsley

Nobody said she couldn't!

Magnolia isn't going to settle for a bird's nest or some sparkly rocks! For her first show-and-tell, she's going BIG!

YOU'LL TELL YOUR TEACHER YOUR ALLIGATOR WILL BE QUIET AND GOOD AND WON'T EAT ANYONE, CROSS YOUR HEART!

But Magnolia's alligator didn't get that memo. He cracks up the class during spelling lesson by showing silly drawings, and Magnolia gets her name on the board, which means she has to be last in line for lunch.

Magnolia tries to curb her alligator. Really, she does. But during the art lesson on origami, Magnolia's alligator folds a paper airplane and sails it across the room and right into the back of the teacher's head.

Magnolia gets a check beside her name on the board. NO recess for Magnolia.

DURING MATH, MAGNOLIA NOTICES THAT HER ALLIGATOR IS HUNGRY.

Magnolia intervenes just in time to save a classmate's head from being an alligator appetizer.

YOU WILL BEG HIM NOT TO EAT ANYONE AND FOR PETE'S SAKE, TO WAIT FOR SHOW AND TELL!

Lunch is fairly hairy for Maggie. The good news is that the alligator refrains from eating any actual kids. The bad news is that he eats her lunch and most of everyone else's.

Magnolia gets her name on the board again, with more checks and an underline, which means she has an after-school date with the principal.

And when show-and-tell time finally rolls around, Magnolia has to sit through the usual boring bird's nests and sparkly rock exhibits until it's her turn to present the wonders of her alligator, 76 teeth and all. Her alligator cooperates by brandishing all 76 of them. But Magnolia proves she's in charge. Pointing out that 'gators are only afraid of other alligators and humans, Magnolia faces him down with her very scariest face!

BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

Magnolia clears the room as the teacher, kids, AND her alligator run for their lives.

YEAH. IF YOU EVER WANT TO BRING YOUR ALLIGATOR TO SCHOOL. DON'T.

Since Mary brought that lamb to school, kids have loved stories about show-and-tell sessions gone awry, and Elise Parsley's over-the-top If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't! (Little, Brown and Company, 2015) is already enjoying top-selling success, by virtue of its dead-pan narration juxtaposed against giggle-getting sight gags in the illustrations. The classroom is hung with school banners that read The Swampies, and Parsley even adds a closing endpaper in which Maggie's alligator, hiding inside her locker, scares the heck out of a classmate. It's silly, it's preposterous, and it's a hoot for primary graders who love an outrageously slapstick school story.

And speaking of outrageous stories, School Library Journal compares this one with David Shannon's beloved David Goes To School and adds "This is an engaging debut picture book written in free verse will appeal to a wide age range. Here's hoping for more adventures with Magnolia!"

Sun, Sea, and... Pianissimo? If You Ever Want to Bring a Piano to the Beach, DON'T! by Elise Parsley

IF YOUR MOM SAYS TO GET READY TO PLAY AT THE BEACH, SHE'S NOT TALKING ABOUT A PIANO. SHE MEANS A FRISBEE OR A SHOVEL.

IF YOU ROLL OUT THE PIANO ANYWAY, SHE'LL TELL YOU, "YOU BETTER NOT LOSE IT!"

Get a grip, Mom. How could you possibly lose a full-sized upright piano? What could possibly go wrong?

Magnolia even promises to push the piano down the walkway herself, so Mom packs up the usual beach gear--umbrella, blanket, snacks, shovels and pails--in the red wagon, pops the baby in the stroller, and heads off toward the beach.

It's a sweaty trek, but with her instrument of choice at last on the sand, Magnolia serenades her family with beach music down by the sea.

The trouble begins when Maggie decides to eat her egg-and-cheese sandwich on top of her piano and is joined by a flock of uninvited seagulls who join her for lunch. They drape the piano with sandy seaweed and proceed to decorate it with their distinctive black-and-white, er, droppings!

THIS, YOU WILL SAY, IS NOT GOOD FOR THE PIANO.

BUT YOU'LL KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO.

BATH TIME!

THE PIANO WILL BOB UP AND DOWN.

THEN UP AND AWAY....

Time and (especially) tide wait for no one, as the stubborn Magnolia finds out, in Elise Parsley's companion book to her New York Times best-seller, If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't!, her just-published If You Ever Want to Bring a Piano to the Beach, Don't! (Little, Brown and Company, 2016). As Ben Franklin might have observed, "Experience keeps a dear school, but Magnolia will learn in no other." As the sun sets in the west and on the horizon her piano floats out to sea, Magnolia wishes she'd given her plan a little more thought. Maybe a Frisbee or a shovel would have been a better choice.

Paisley's opinionated protagonist again provides a comic cautionary tale as, she learns that just because she can do something doesn't mean that she should. Paisley's illustrations tell the tale all too well, as her swarms of seagulls and the salty waves have their way with Magnolia's beloved piano. Will our heroine ever learn to curb her enthusiasm? To be continued.

Nose To Nose! Neck And Neck by Elise Paisley

Life in the zoo was glorious for Leopold.

Every day kids laughed and cheered, and the snacks... were delicious.

The morning began with the usual squeals of admiration.

"Oh, boy! Oh, boy! The TALLEST ANIMAL IN THE WORLD!"

Leopold RULES the ZOO. He's the tops--literally.

But one day as he is greeting his loyal public, he gets a shock.

Leopold turned... and gasped

at the gleaming smile bobbing beside him.

It's a gigantic giraffe-head balloon, held by a grinning boy. And Leopold's erstwhile fans are fickle!

For some reason, the kids are quite taken with the thing! They go ga-ga over the balloon, as the kid holding the string makes it bob and duck and do loop-the-loops. He brags that it smells fresh and doesn't have to have to be fed giraffe treats.

Leopold gives himself a sniff. Who says he's not fresh? He twists himself like a pretzel, looking between his legs at his tail. Who says he can't do tricks?

"I zoom! I bounce!" Leopold boasts.

But all eyes are still on the balloon. Leopold finds himself a bit winded, while the balloon zebra's fat face still has that phony smile. They're eyeball to eyeball, and Leopold has just blinked.

He stalks off to sulk under his favorite tree. How can his former fans desert him? His rival is an airhead, full of hot air. He's a grinning, gassy, goofus! As Leopold ponders the fickle finger of fame, he spots something with... possibilities. His acacia tree has... THORNS! Hmmmm!

CHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGE!

BLAM!

But Leopold's glee turns glum when he sees the crestfallen face of the kid holding the now deflated balloon.

Awwwww! Now all the kids are sad. Leopold feels terrible. What can he do?

Will Leopold redeem himself?

Is this a picture book or what? There's a surprise ending in store (and lots of laughs and a little lesson in humility all around) in Elise Parsley's latest, Neck and Neck (Little, Brown, 2018). Author-illustrator Parsley, creator of the top-selling If You Ever Want to Bring an Alligator to School, Don't! (Magnolia Says DON'T!) and sequels, (see reviews here), is back in fine fettle in this new one. Her premise is as preposterous and her illustrations as wild and woolly as ever, and her story is perfectly paced to keep the pages turning in this nose-to-nose, neck-to-neck, eyeball-to-eyeball face-off that is fantastically full of top-of-the-heap fun.