Spoofing Santa: A Cajun Night Before Christmas and Other Downhome Sendups

A bit weary of the red-clad St. Nick with his jelly belly and his dash-away reindeer? For a change of pace that will charm your Christmas guests and leave them laughing all the way to next year, try reading aloud from Trosclair's Cajun Night Before Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series) (Pelican Press, 1992).

Down in a little cabin on the bayou, the chirren are settlin' snug on de flo' as the fixin's for the holiday feast are gettin' their final touches:

Den Mama' in de fireplace
Done roas' up de ham,
Stir up the gumbo,
And make bake de yam.

Only Papa' is still awake when a strange figure in a flying skiff pulled by eight gators lands on the roof and someone drops down the chimney:

"Sacre'," he axclaim,
"Ma pant got a hole.
I done sot ma'se'f down
On den red hot coal!

He was dress all in musk-rat
From his head to his foot
An' his clothes is all dirty
Wit' ashes and soot

A sack full of playt'ing
He t'row on his back.
He look like a burglar,
And dass fo' a fack.

As Papa' gawks, the muskrat-clad Santa leaves the playthings, gifts, and goodies around the cabin, but when it's time to make his departure back up to the roof, he has second thoughts about the chimney:

"Wit' all o' dat fire
An' dem burning' hot flame,
Me I ain' goin' back
By de way dat I came!"

Taking the door this time, the Cajun Santa jumps in his skiff and whips his gators into flight--without forgetting to bid all a good night:

An' I hear him shout loud
As splashin' he go,
"Merry Christmas to all
'Til I saw you some mo;"

With really funny full-color illustrations by Jim Rice, Cajun Night Before Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series) is guar-on-teed to please.

If your taste runs to the fine mid-South speech of, say, Jeff Foxworthy, you might want to try out a couple of Pelican's other versions. There's Hillbilly Night Afore Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series) in which "Sainty" arrives in a wagon pulled by "eight Smoky bear."

'Twas the night afore Christmas,
'Twixt ridgeback and holler.
No critter was twitchin',
No hawg dast to waller.

Or then there's the official redneck author David Davis' version, Redneck Night Before Christmas (Night Before Christmas Series), where Santa drops down in a red pickup with a Rebel Flag a'flyin', accompanied by his houn' dawgs. For older kids and grownups, these parodies are so drop-dead funny--y'all 'ul haf to chugalug an RC Cola er two to settle yuhse'fs daown for a long winter's nap.

Merry Christmas, ole boy, you come back, yuh hear?