The Handbook of Birthday Regulations: Ten Rules of the Birthday Wish by Beth Ferry

Of course, Rule 1 requires that it be your actual birthday. Or close. At least in the same week--unless there are extenuating circumstances, such as being an insect of considerably limited lifespan. (In that case, take it while you can get it!)

RULE 2: You must have a PARTY.

Accouterments are optional, of course. But for the traditional shindig, items like hats, streamers, banners, food, and confetti are conventional, and balloons are pretty much de regueur.

Unless... you are a rhinoceros. (POP!)

RULE 3: You must have cake or cannoli or cream puffs or churros... (or other sturdy desserts which can withstand RULE 4.)

Rule 4 requires something which must be blown out vigorously, (like candles or sparklers), resulting in Rule 5's requisite--DARKNESS. Further rules require singing of a certain song (with which everyone on the planet if familiar), following which closed eyes are optional, but expected to suggest deep thought and a requisite deep breath to ensure that said candle or sparklers are extinguished summarily. Help from bystanders is allowed, if necessary, but somewhat frowned upon unless the celebrant is of tender years.

And at last, the celebrant arrives at the crux of the whole exercise...

THE WISH!

... Which must be made in silence and remain unrevealed... if the celebrant has hope of...

... a wish coming true.

Sweet dreams of birthday wishes fulfilled are ensured in Beth Ferry's new Ten Rules of the Birthday Wish (G. P. Putnam's Sons, 2019), which builds a bit of suspense for readers as she takes us through the traditional protocol of the proper birthday party, illustrated joyously by the inimitable artist Tom Lichtenheld whose assorted animal party-goers are charmingly pictured in a jolly party mood, just the thing for reading aloud on party day. Says Kirkus, "Satisfyingly humorous and sure to gift readers with guffaws...a gift of a book to open again and again."